A World without an Image
by Tiian
Summary: FIRST CHAPTER REPLACED. One man and one knife. Both cutting deep wounds. Confused and pained Misao runs away from life but a day will come when she has to face it again.
1. Chapter 1: Walking in the darkness

**World without an Image**  
REDONE VERSION

So I bet you are wondering _why?_ The answer is simple, _it needed to be done._  
I was a mere beginner when I started this and while my skills grew  
this still remains ugly in many ways.

I don't understand why people love this so...

I feel like I owe something to this fanfic.  
Perhaps a thank you for helping me grow as a person and as a writer?  
I am not really sure.

Still,  
here it is.  
The entire fanfic has been revised.

Please enjoy yourselves.

* * *

Disclaimer: RK is not mine. This is true in all chapters. 

Summary: One man and one knife. Both cutting deep wounds. Confused and pained Misao runs away from life but a day will come when she has to face it again.

* * *

**Chapter 01**: **Walking in the darkness**  
(Prologue + Chapter 01) 

It was a chilly autumn evening and a woman known as Makimachi Misao was walking slowly back to her house. It had been a long and tiring day and she was ready to fall on her futon and asleep. Her steps were slow and lazy since she had no will left to move her body for all she wanted was sleep. The blessed rest...

A small ball that the children from a house nearby had forgotten outside interrupted her walk. She tripped. Surprised and tired she was unable to do anything to stop her fall. She fell over and groaned in pain as her body hit the ground, the ball hitting her foot painfully. It was the last straw.

She hit the ground with her fist and she wanted to cry. But as always these days no tears came and she realized all over again that she would never cry again. How many times during these past five years she had wanted to cry but had been unable? How many times had she laid her nails against her skin and pressed until she bled? How many times had she almost drowned in her misery? How many times had she lost hope? How many times?

She hadn't counted but she knew that the number only got bigger with time. She wanted just to stay laying there and forget everything, to stay still forever, forget and be forgotten. But she couldn't. Her nature was against such a failure and easy loss.

The freezing touch of the wind reminded her of the fact that it was autumn and winter was soon approaching. Should she stay there she would catch a cold and be even more miserable.

She forced herself to stand up, to ignore the pain both in her foot and in her tortured emotions. She tried to dust the grass and other dirt off her kimono when she heard a familiar female voice calling her name.

"Mei-san! Mei-san!" Misao turned her head towards the urgent voice full of worry. The voice of a nice and gentle woman who lived in the house nearby. The ball she had tripped over was probably one of her children's as they always left things laying around.

"Himiko-san. What is it?" Voice was all she had to recognize people of. Or maybe scent and feeling also. But not the way they looked like anymore. A moment of bitterness at that thought but she had gotten used to it and now it didn't matter anymore as much as it had before. Expect when she thought of the past and all the people she had cut from her life. She could not bear the thought of being in their presence without seeing them.

"Are you alright, Mei-san? I saw you trip." She sounded worried. Misao, not wanting to worry her, smiled at her direction and spoke. "I am fine. Don't worry. I know how to take care of myself."

Himiko sounded a bit annoyed. "Really... I know that but that doesn't stop me from worrying about you! You are my friend. Now, are you really alright?" Misao laughed lightly. Himiko was a wonderful person and a good friend. First she had gotten after she had moved to this village a year ago.

"Really Himiko-san. Everything is fine." Misao smiled her hands busy trying to brush the rest of the dirt from her kimono's front. Himiko made a small sound of annoyance. "Well, I guess I can believe you since you don't seem to be hurt but then again you prefer to hide your pain from others." A sigh. "I'll tell to my kids not to leave their stuff laying around anymore."

Not knowing what to say, Misao merely nodded knowing that it wouldn't be of much help. Kids were kids and remembering her own childhood and knowing Himiko's children it was useless. But if trying made her feel better she was free to do so.

"I can walk you home, if you want me to." Misao could feel Himiko's worry in her ki and hear it in her voice but shook her head. She needed some time for herself to recover her mental balance. "No but that you for the offer. See you later, Himiko-san."

Himiko hesitated a moment before answering. "Bye then Mei-san. Sleep well." Misao nodded and begun her walk to her house leaving Himiko to watch her back.

There weren't any other obstacles on her way and so it took only few minutes before she had reached her destination. A place she quite didn't dare to call home. It was a bit warmer inside, at least there was no wind to blow through the thin layers of her kimono.

She walked to her closet pulling out her futon and a yukata. After carefully opening her obi she removed her kimono and neatly folded it. She would ask Himiko to clean it for her tomorrow.

Misao seated herself in front of her small table, removed the folded fabric from her eyes and laid it down. After sitting still and silent for few minutes, she raised her hand and traced the scars that traveled over her eyes with her sensitive fingertips recalling the night that had changed everything.

World had consisted only sounds, scents and feelings since that day five years ago that a man from the past had decided to get his revenge. After that day her life had held no color or shape, only in her dreams she could see.

* * *

_Five years ago, on the highroad_

It was a sunny summer's day but merely few rays of sun reached Misao as she walked down a road in a thick green forest. She smiled as she admired the beauty of the nature. Green leaves, brown trunks. Flowers of rainbow colors, birds singing in the shadows. It was during days like this that she felt calm and peace. Her mouth was constantly curved into a small smile, her thoughts lifting her to the air.

It was a great day for traveling.

In three days she would be home in Kyoto and the thought brought with it a great anticipation. Only three days and she would see Aoshi-sama and others again and could show them what she had learned during the past year of traveling all around Japan from Hokkaido to Okinawa. She had met many members she had never seen before or only met them as a child. They had had much stories to tell, experiences to share and skill to teach.

She smiled at the thought.

She had so much to tell them about her training and journey. She could already imagine their faces and reactions to her tales and newly acquired skills. She had learned much about her people, about leading them and about herself. She now felt that she would be able to truly lead the Oniwabanshu. Her new fighting skills would surely impress them and now she could even conceal her feelings if she wanted to. Most of the time at least.

She was no longer a little girl who thought that she was a woman. She was a woman now and Aoshi couldn't use any of his usual excuses to weasel out of marrying her. She was old enough, hell she was already 18 years old, and it was about time for them to get married. All she needed to do was get him to agree and her life would be perfect.

She was bubbling with energy and could not resist sprinting for a while. She felt strong and free. Happy and excited. Everything was perfect.

Her feet hit the ground in a steady space and the trees and views flashed by her. Her legs carried her fast and strong. She felt almost as if she was flying, such was her ease in moving. Her legs were definitely stronger than they had been before she had left. Her breathing was easy and calm, her body just warming up. She could definitely feel the results of walking for an entire year.

Suddenly her thoughts and calm were broken as she felt that something was wrong and quickly followed her instincts and jumped backwards with a somersault. Her muscles obeyed her without hesitation or pain and she was glad at having run for a while or they might have protested at the sudden tension.

She heard a small blowing arrow hit a tree at the other side of the road and her eyes grew alert as she observed her surroundings. Trees and plants but no sign of an attacker. Here in the middle of a road she was a clear target but it couldn't be helped. She couldn't just jump into the unknown forest since she had no idea what might me waiting for. She doubted that this was a mere band of thieves since they were arrogant and made a lot of noises.

The silence was what worried her the most.

"Whoever there is you are dealing with the wrong person. Leave me alone or you'll be sorry."

Misao waited, but just like she had thought, there was no answer. She tried to locate the attacker when suddenly there was a noise at her left. Two kunais were in her hands and flying towards the target before two seconds had passed.

A muffled shriek.

She had hit the target but she couldn't let her guard down. There could be more of them hidden in the shadows and she had no idea of knowing how well she had aimed. The person she had hit might still be able to fight.

She inched slowly towards the forest on the other side of the road, away from the person she had hit. Suddenly she felt it and her body grew still for one terrifying realization. Her senses alarmed her of multiple attackers surrounding her in the shadows.

Misao's eyes widened in horror. This is an ambush!

But why?

And by who?

She didn't have time to think as dozens of small arrows were blown and she was too busy dodging them left and right. Despite her best efforts she could not avoid them forever. There were too many.

The pain that spread from her shoulder alerted her that one had hit her. The pain was not too bad but immediately after the hit their attacks were halted. The arrow was deep in her shoulder but she could still fight. So why stop now?

Unless...

Fear gripped her heart. _Poison?_

This was too much like an attack of a ninja for her to ignore. Stealthy and fast, organized and final. They were already sure of their victory but she didn't feel like surrendering so fast and turned to run. If they weren't attacking, she could at least try to flee.

She knew that movement only increased the poison's spreading speed but there was nothing she could do about it. If she stayed still there she would die. There was no one here to help her so she had to try to get away.

She had to... try.

The poison weakened her fast and after only hundred meters she fell to her knees, her limbs refusing to move.

_Is this... it?_

She fell forward to the ground and her body shook slightly. Her ears caught the sounds of people moving closer, the thunderous sound echoing from the ground into her ear. Her eyes were sliding shut and the last thing she remembered seeing was a pair of feet in front of her. After that there was only pain and blackness.

* * *

The first thing she realized was pain. It was not a pleasant way to wake up. Her head was aching from the poison, her body singed because of the fall, her wrists were numb and her stomach was hurting as if someone had hit it. 

She moaned in pain as she opened her eyes only to shut them immediately again. There was a candle straight before her and the light was blinding to her eyes which were adjusted to the darkness. Automatically she tried to shadow her eyes with her hands but found that she could not. Not only were they tied behind her but they were also numb because the robe had been tied too tight and the blood could not circulate into them normally.

"So you are awake at last." A masculine voice spoke somewhere close to her and Misao twisted her head to see the man. The headache attacked her instantly and she groaned. Her eyes opened slightly but she could not see him. The light was still too bright. Perhaps that was the reason why it had been placed so close to her face.

He seemed amused, his snickering was all she could hear.

Annoyed, she twisted her neck as much as she could to look away from the light. Forcibly she opened her eyes so that they could adjust to the light. She couldn't afford to remain blinded in enemy territory.

Slowly she could open them more and more but the ache spread from her head to her neck as she was forced to remain in an unnatural position. She tried to move to her back to ease her posture but the numbness made it hard.

He kicked her over and she bit her lip to keep from groaning at the added pain. But he had helped her move and now she could see better and the pain was slowly draining from her her neck as it recovered.

She was in a medium sized room that was lightened with few candles scattered around it. The only piece of furniture was a high table on her right. Her eyes sought out the man that had spoken to her and she did not like what she saw.

He was a tall man with short black hair. In the darkness of the room his eyes seemed pitch black, staring at her with glee in his eyes and malice on his lips. He looked about 30 years old but there were few strands of gray in his hair. He was glad in black and blue ninja uniform though she did not recognize it. He had no weapons she could see but it was not unusual among the ninja.

And this man was a ninja. If she had had doubts they were gone now. The attack pattern, his clothing and the skillful knotting of the robe all spoke for that. He may not have done those himself but if he was the leader, then he too was a ninja. Probably.

There were other men also in the room. They were hidden in the shadows and Misao could only feel that they were there, feel their eyes upon her. Alert and cautious. They were there to make sure she didn't harm their leader or to make sure she didn't escape. Or both.

She didn't want to admit it but she was afraid. She had no idea as to why they had done this. What did these people want from her? Why had they attacked and captured her?

The look on the man's face did not promise anything good and as he moved closer she tried to back away but couldn't. He snickered again and knelled before her.

She stared at him with more defiance she felt. She could almost smell the blood of all the people he had killed. His presence was suffocating. Unlike Aoshi and Himura who hid their darkness, this man did no such thing. He did nothing to hide his sadistic nature either. His thin lips were curled in a smile that made her feel fear of the future.

He extended his hand and cupped her cheek. His hand was cold and dry against her skin and it disgusted her but she couldn't pull away and he knew it. All she could do was stare into his cold eyes as he studied her face turning it left and right.

"Makimachi Misao right? The self-proclaimed okashira of the Oniwabashu. The joke among the ninjas, a little girl thinking that she is really the one everyone obeys."

Her eyes widened and her lips tightened into a thin line. He laughed and she scowled. _How dare he even indicate something like that!_

Without a pause, without mercy he continued spilling out insults. "Even if you are the granddaughter of their past leader I don't understand how they can even pretend taking orders from a weakling like you..."

It was getting hard to keep her rage in check. It took all she had to keep her mouth shut and so her eyes reflected all she felt. Anger, disbelief, crushed hope and desperation. It was hard to try and keep her trust in her friends with her when her confidence was crushed by being captured this easy. And he knew it all.

"But your stupidity certainly gave me a change so I must thank you. Finally... I can punish him. That dead grandfather of your... For daring to kill my older brother! I think that sending his precious granddaughter to hell will give him my message ."

Misao's eyes went wide as she understood his goal. She didn't remember much of her grandfather but what the man said was possible. A lot of blood had been spilled in the past. If what the man was true, or even if it wasn't, this man was after revenge. It hadn't been unusual in the past but now it was already so far in the past that hardly anyone anymore held grudge or acted on it.

But he was now acting on it. He had obviously waited for a good moment and then attacked, making sure she was alone with no one expecting her. How long had he been following her to find an opportunity like this? How long had he had spies after her without her ever noticing a thing?

The thought was sickening and it doubled her terror. She had to get away from here as soon as possible or he would without a doubt kill her. And there was no knowing what else he was planning... Revenge was never a pretty thing. It was the culmination of hatred, rage, anger and malice.

"You are afraid. No wonder. You must have realized that there is no escape for you by now." His voice was colder than Aoshi's had ever been. His hand caressed her cheek gently and she tried to move it aside, away from him and his filthy hand but his hand moved from her cheeks to her neck and kept her in her place. A tight cruel smile rose to his lips and his hand tightened around her neck.

The pain was nothing next to her desperation for air. She tried to move but couldn't. She tried to breath but couldn't. She would die here. She knew that then and her eyes widened in fear and desperation.

Then suddenly he took some of the pressure away and she could breath again. The air was cold but she breathed it in fast and as much as she could. There was no telling if he would stop her breath again.

Before she understood what was happening, instead of threatening to strangle her he had pressed his mouth against hers.

Her eyes widened and she tried to turn her head away from him but his hand on her neck stopped her. He forced her mouth open and plunged his tongue in. She could not move or push him away so she tried to bite him but didn't have a change before he had pulled back already.

It took her a moment to gather herself and then her eyes sparked and she spit at his face. The rage on his face made her feel that she had done something seriously wrong and she couldn't do anything to avoid his fist.

Her lip broke and blood trickled down her chin. Still it would take more than that to make her feel the terror that had been replaced with disgust. She turned her face to look at him defiance clear on her face. To her surprise he smiled.

"This is going to be fun but I don't like the way you look at me. So let's get that useless defiance off your pretty face, shall we? I like hearing your screams more than seeing your face anyway."

He rose and walked to the table. He stopped to think for a while and then returned with a tantou in his hand. The blade gleamed in the candlelight and Misao felt a surge of panic rising. She tried to calm herself but all she could do was hide it. The panic was still there and her chest rose and fell along with it.

"What do you think you are doing! If you dare to hurt me in anyway you are going to get the whole Oniwabashu after you!" She tried to sound sure but he was not scared by so little. He was much too sure of his position and power. Also, there was no guarantee they would ever find out what had happened to her if she was unable to escape to tell the tale. He knew all this all too well.

The man dared to laugh at her words and walked slowly to her. Misao pulled franticly at the bindings that held her wrists and feet captive trying to get as far from him as possible. There was no future for her if she couldn't escape. But no matter how much she tried to wriggle and move, the results didn't appear. Her efforts only seemed to amuse him.

He stopped her movements by sitting on her. Her stomach ached at his weight and the further restrain of movements caused a new wave of terror in her. Was there no way to escape?

The man brought the blade to her and moved it slowly before her eyes. She could see her reflection from the blade and the look of a scared little girl she saw made her anger explode in her. Defiance once again rose to her eyes and words.

"You won't break me with something like this. I am stronger than you believe." She said keeping her chin high and her eyes locked with his. She would not back away. She would show him that she was not a little girl but a woman worthy of her status.

A look of wonder flashed in his eyes before the man spoke smiling at her. "I didn't think so. And no, I am not trying to break your mind since that comes automatically after breaking a body." Then he turned his attention to the other people in the room. "Keep her still." He ordered.

Shadows separated from the walls of the room. There were at least ten men their faces covered with masks. They moved to her and pressed her against the floor. Misao tried to fight them but couldn't do much with him sitting on her and her hands and feet bound. Her head hit the hard floor painfully as she struggled and someone took a tight hold of it. Misao couldn't move herself at all even though she tried with all she had. She screamed out her frustration.

Still she refused to look afraid. The man moved the knife closer to her face and she tried to move away but the man holding her head was too strong. The man pressed the blade against the skin beside her left eye. The cold blade sent shivers across her skin.

"I told you that I would take that look off you face, off your eyes." He was smiling.

Misao felt the blade sink into her skin and blood started to flow down the side of her face. Then the blade moved, opening her skin all the time inching closer to her left eye. Misao bit her broken lip, trying to keep herself from whimpering in pain and closed her eyes.

She gave up then. There was nothing she could do against them alone.

The blade severed her skin and Misao screamed in pain as it broke her eyelid, crushed her eye and moved over her nose to her right eye without stopping before it reached other side of her face.

She had never felt any pain like this before. It exploded inside her brain and she didn't even feel the blood flowing down her face since all of her nerves connected to her eyes were screaming in agony inside of her head. She sobbed but she was not sure if any tears came out. It hurt too much to feel anything else.

Then he started again and repeated the movement over and over again. From right to left and back again. The pain was too much and she screamed endlessly. Always when she was close to passing out because of the pain he stopped for a while to let her recover. Then he started again.

Left to right.

Right to left.

Left to right.

Right to left.

He didn't stop until her eyes were completely destroyed and blood covered all of her face. Her screams had not stopped or paused even for a minute. She had only screamed her throat sore, she had not begged or spoken.

The man looked down at her bloody face wonderingly and reluctantly admired her courage before such pain. "Hmm. It seems that you truly are stronger than I thought. Well then I'll just have to--"

"Shimabara-sama! Shimabara-sama!"

Her mind wasn't really aware of anything besides the pain but she did hear the name. The name she memorized for the rest of her life. She couldn't even remember his face that well anymore but that name she etched forever into her mind. Revenge was not a pretty thing but...

Hurried footsteps neared the room before the shoji was opened and a man stepped through. "I am sorry to interrupt you Shimabara-sama but there is a very urgent message to you, very urgent. It is from... well you know." The way the informer said those word seemed to calm Shimabara who had looked at the man ready to kill him for interrupting his fun. He nodded. "I'll be there in a minute."

The informer nodded and hurried away. Shimabara rose to his feet and looked down at the bloody mess on the floor. "Keita, watch over her. The rest of you leave with me." Then he turned and walked away closely followed by all of the people except the one who held her head.

The man was silent as he watched the woman before her. She made small pained sounds and the blood continued to fall down her cheeks and neck. Her black hair was covered in blood just as the floor around her. He took a piece of his belt and tied it over her eyes tightly. Perhaps it would be enough to stop the bleeding for now.

"I am sorry." He said knowing that no words were enough.

He had always respected Shimabara to some extent but what had happened before him just now had erased all such feelings away. He was now able to see what kind of man he was following without anything hindering his sight. He had no intentions of doing so anymore after this.

He pressed his hand on her forehead to calm her, leaned over and whispered into her ear. "I'll help you out of here. I swear. I won't let them hurt you anymore."

He doubted if she heard him at all but it didn't really matter. All that mattered was helping her. Perhaps that way he could redeem some of himself...

_

* * *

_

_Five years after, at Suzu:_

Misao's hand fell down from her face and her scars.

Funaki Keita had kept his promise and helped her out of there. He had also helped her to cope with her blindness for the first few weeks before they had met Yoko. She had been the miracle worker who had taught her everything she knew now except for what she had learned in this village during the past year. Of living without seeing.

Four years she had lived with Yoko training in all ways possible. Nothing had became naturally to her, nothing had came easily. She had had to learn a new way of walking, eating, organizing... Everything.

Losing her sight had also forced her to learn how to fight all over again without relying on her eyes. All she had left were her hearing and sense of touch.

First two years had been hell for her. Frustration when she failed all over again and again, broke things as she hit them, fell over things left on the ground. She had screamed her until her voice was gone, till it hurt like hell. There had not been much hope in her. The pain had been with her all the time but she had not grown numb.

The memories didn't leave her alone. The desire to see again didn't leave her alone.

The only good thing that came out of it all was her knowledge of ki. That and sounds were what helped her to cope with humans and animals better.

After she had learned everything she had to learn from Yoko she had wondered. What would she do now? Not for once did she consider returning to Kyoto or going to Tokyo since there she could meet people she knew from the past and that was something she wanted to forget.

The past of seeing...

So she had started wandering, learning how to walk in the forest and on the road. That had been her life until she had reached a village called Suzu. She had fallen in love with the people and the atmosphere of the village almost as soon as she had entered it and so she had stayed there.

She had found work as a waitress which surprised many of them. They couldn't believe how well she moved around and dodged things without seeing them. It was a wonder to the customers as well which meant that she actually attracted people to watch her which was good for the business.

Of course when someone moved a table or something else out of its ordinary place she hit them. But she never lost her temper, just smiled and wondered just how clumsy a person can be.

Soon she was no longer blind in their eyes, just one of them. Not for once did anyone of them ask her what she hid behind the bandage that ran over her eyes. They did not know the sorrowful tale of her life as she had no desire to replay it in her mind.

All they knew was a fake name and some more pleasant memories she had shared with them. It was her way of cutting away her past and the person she had been. She couldn't return there no matter how much she wished.

But she feared that a day may come. A day when she would be forced to meet her past again. It was a fear she never managed to shook off.

* * *

Chapter 01

rewriting status: DONE  
Spellcheck: Left that to the computer.


	2. Chapter 2: Reason to live and to leave

Disclaimer: RK ain't mine. But this story is.  
  
Don't hold your breath waiting for next chapter. Well, it is half done so it won't take long time to finish it,   
but the fourth chapter... That'll take a long time.  
  
You have been warned.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2. Reason to live and to leave  
  
  
The sun rose slowly over the horizon and the dew glimmered in the light. The air was cool and silence filled   
the air. The village of Suzu was quiet. No one was up yet, except one girl. Misao sat on a pillow on grass   
and meditated. People, who knew Misao from before, would have laughed at the idea. Misao, that girl with   
sparkling blue eyes always up to something, didn't have patience for something like meditating. The mere   
thought was ridiculous! She would fidget for some time and then give up. She was a lively person who just   
couldn't merely sit down.  
  
That had indeed been true before, but the person Misao was now was very different from that girl. So many   
things had changed. She had been forced to go through so many events that she had had to change to be able   
to cope with everything that had happened to her. So that she could still go on living.  
  
Misao opened her eyes. She missed those simple days in the past. She had always been sheltered from the evil   
in the world, she had been able to live carefree for so long. So innocent, so very innocent. She had thought   
that she understood the hardships people like Aoshi had had to go through, but she had been wrong. Everyone   
had known this, but had done nothing to make her truly understand. They had allowed her to live in her dream   
world that not even the fight against Juppongatana and Shishio had been able to break.  
  
It had finally broken with her eyes. Sometimes...  
  
Sometimes she pitied herself.  
Sometimes she burned with anger towards Shimabara.  
Sometimes she was frustrated.  
Sometimes... she was just empty.  
Nothing left, everything stolen from her. Alone in this world.  
  
But no matter how much Misao had changed, some things had not changed. She was alive and she would stay   
alive. Will to live burned inside of her and she knew her own worth. Now better than ever. She may have been   
blinded but she was strong, stronger than ever before. The senses she had left were now her messengers, they   
told her everything she had to know about the world. Little by little she had learned to accept the loss of   
her eyes. There were still times when she hoped she could have them back, but she would no longer allow it   
to make her angry.   
  
She had not given up and she never would. She was a fighter, a ninja, and she would fight till the end of   
her days!   
  
After half an hour Misao rose. A new day had arrived and she was alive to greet it.  
  
She took her pillow and walked towards her small house, not a home just a house. No matter how cosy the   
place was, Misao just could not feel at home there, if anywhere anymore. But she didn't allow herself to   
feel down, she sure had done so too many times and too long times in the past. Yoko had been so bored   
watching her mope all around her place that she had kicked her ass couple of times to get her fighting   
spirit up.  
  
She had had luck. Meeting Yoko was one of the best things ever happened to her. She had been miserable and   
so had been Keita. He had not helped Misao when her eyes were ruined and he thought himself worthless   
because of it.   
They had run into Yoko, Ishimaru Yoko, in some village which name Misao never heard. She had no idea of   
exactly what had been going on Yoko's brains when she had sat in their table and started talking, but   
the results were excellent. Yoko had a spirit of fire, and patience of a monk. Well... maybe not.  
  
She was an orphan, her parents and her older brother had died in a fire when she had been 6 years old. The   
couple that had took care of her, had taught her to fight. They hadn't children of their own, so Yoko came   
one for them. Unlike Misao's, Yoko's training had been finished. When she had seen Misao walk in, she had   
immediately seen the potential in her. The fact that Misao was blind didn't bother her. She knew that Misao   
could become strong. What she didn't know was that Misao could also teach things to her.  
  
So she rudely sat into the table of the strangers, ignoring Keita. He was of no importance to her. The woman   
was the one she was interested in. After a long talk, she somehow managed to persuade the woman into   
following her. She had been a pitiful sight, her spirit was down and badly depressed. All because of   
losing her eyes. Sure it must have been painful, but hey! Life goes on!   
  
Keita had refused to allow Misao to follow Yoko alone, so he left with them. Yoko took them to her home, a   
small house far away from the village, it took them two days to get there. Keita had complained about   
everything all the time during the walk, Misao and Yoko had been quiet. When they arrived, Keita started to   
complain all over again.   
  
"The house is too small!"  
"It is too dirty!"  
"There is no food!"  
"There is no water!"  
"Everything is old!"  
  
At that point Yoko's patience ended and she ended his complains with one kick, to his groins. His complains   
ended there and then. And Misao smiled for the first time after losing her eyes. Even in pain, Keita noticed   
this and it made him happy. Shimabara had not succeeded in killing this woman. She indeed was strong. Some   
of the burden that Keita carried disappeared.  
  
That night Misao and Yoko had talked for a long time. Misao told her what had happened to her as she cleaned   
her eyes, which had started to suppurate under the bandage. They were far from well. In the end it took over   
two months before her eyes were completely healed. Yoko had some knowledge about medicines and wounds and so   
she was the one to take care of Misao. Keita started to feel more and more like an outsider and in the end he   
moved to the village. He still visited them once or twice a week bringing them food and other necessities.  
  
Living with Yoko really raised Misao's spirit. Keita had been almost as depressed as she and so being around   
someone more cheery helped Misao to understand that her live had not ended with her eyes. After Misao had   
recovered somewhat, Yoko started to retrain her. It was hard, for both of them. But in the end they were   
both happy.  
  
Misao had learned to read ki, to rely on her hearing and her memory. And more importantly, she had learned   
her own worth. Some of her spirit had been restored. She would never again be as cheery as she had been   
before, but she had found stability between her old and her new self. She still wasn't sure exactly who she   
was, but that was not for Yoko to teach, it was for her to find out on her on.  
  
Yoko had learned something important too, besides new moves and techniques, she had learned about feelings.   
Misao's suffering, her stories about people like Battousai/Kenshin, Kaoru, Yahiko and others had taught her   
about struggles some people had to go through to find happiness.   
  
Keita also taught Yoko something. Misao noticed how close those two became over time and it was no surprise   
to her. Keita was a man of strong feelings and Yoko was a woman of strong spirit. They were different, but   
still they were fit for each other.   
  
That was a painful reminder of Aoshi. The person Misao missed the most. Her childish thoughts were gone,   
but her love refused to leave with them. She truly loved him, but she didn't want to see him or others. It   
would be painful, way too painful. Not only for her, but for them also. So she would not return there. After   
lots of thinking Misao decided to just leave. Yoko was sad, they had became good friends during the four   
years Misao had stayed with her. Keita was sad also, he did offer Misao that he could leave with her, but   
Misao refused his offer. She would not take him away from Yoko.  
  
As a parting gift Yoko gave Misao a wooden walking cane she had made herself, a bottle full of ointment for   
her eyes and weapons. A pair of steel fans Misao had trained with and a pair of short swords.  
Keita gave her food, some cloths and money.  
So after four hard year Misao left her only friends to find out who she was and where her home was.  
She sun shone on her face and the road was long. The day was warm and she felt hopeful. Maybe, just maybe   
the future would be brighter than the past or the present. Maybe...  
  
"MEI-SAN!"  
  
The voice woke Misao from her reminiscence and she automatically searched for ki. It was familiar and Misao relaxed.  
  
"Himiko-san. You're up early."  
  
The woman run to Misao bubbling with joy and cheerfulness. She breathing heavily as she arrived. After   
gathering enough air she spoke.   
  
"A postman woke me up. How can they have the energy to deliver post to people at this early hours. Anyway,   
I just received a letter from my sister who lives in Kyoto. I have told to you about her, right? She had her   
first child just few days ago and she wants me to go to a visit. A proud mother always wants to show their   
little ones. I didn't want to wake up my husband at this hour, so I came to you. I guessed you'd be up already.   
I just had to tell to someone! You see, my sister has been married for four years already and this is her first   
one! And I have already two and third is probably coming." Himiko stopped to get some air, but the happy smile   
never faded.  
  
Few things had gotten Misao's attention. First was the word Kyoto, next was four years and the last one was   
'and third is probably coming'. With a teasing voice Misao asked if Himiko's husband knew about the third   
one yet.  
  
Himiko turned red. "No, he doesn't. No one does! Except for you now. You must not tell them! I want to tell   
myself when I am sure!"  
  
"I wouldn't dream of telling anyone about it against your wishes. Would you like to come in?" Misao pointed   
at the door. "I was just about to make some tea."  
  
"Mmm..Tea. Who could refuse? Show me in." Himiko smiled, she had never been at Misao's home and she was   
quite curious as to what it was like inside.  
  
Misao just nodded and showed her inside. In the middle of the room there was a small fireplace and next to   
it was small table, on it was black kettle and tea ingredients. The fire had already almost burned out, but   
the live coals were still hot. Misao moved around her small house without hesitation, she knew what was   
where. The kettle was full of water and Misao placed it over the dying fire all the time watching out for   
her sleeves. Then she got two cup from her small closet.  
  
Himiko looked around the place and noted how there was nothing unnecessary. The only light came from the   
fireplace, every window was shut. *Of course. To her it doesn't matter if here is dark, every place is a   
dark place for her.*  
  
"You can open a window if you want to. It must be kind of dark here." Misao spoke absent mindedly.  
  
*It was like Mei could have read my mind!* Himiko thought as she rose to open one window and allowed light   
to enter the house it rarely entered. Then she returned to the table. Misao had already returned there and   
was now taking the kettle making sure she didn't touch it with bare hands.   
  
She lifted it to the table. Then she took two little cup-like strainers, placed another one over one of the   
cups, filled it with tea ingredients and poured hot water through the strainer. She did the same with the   
another cup and Himiko couldn't but wonder how she knew where the cup was, when it was full. For a while   
she left the strainers into the cups, then she removed them and emptied them into a small cup. Then she   
handed another cup for Himiko, who was speechless. No matter how many times she saw Misao doing things like   
this, she never understood just how she did it. She could not see, so how did she know where each cup was.   
It went beyond her understanding.  
  
"So you're going to Kyoto to visit your sister?" Misao's voice startled Himiko before she remembered why she   
was here.  
  
"Yes, I mean I am her only relative. Our parents are dead and she has no other siblings. What about you   
Mei-san?"  
  
"Huh?"   
  
"What kind of family do you have?"  
  
Himiko could not know how her question hurt Misao. She was quiet. *I don't want to lie anymore, but...*  
Himiko was just about to ask if something was wrong when Misao spoke.  
  
"I was the first child and very young when my parents died. I can't even remember them. I don't have sisters   
or brothers. My grandfather took care of me until he died when I was five. After that my grandfathers   
friends looked after me. He and his friends. And I can tell you that he has many friends, young and old. He   
and his friends formed a little groups where everyone took care of each others. They were like a family.   
Only one I have ever known. I love each and everyone of them. You know, they also live in Kyoto." Misao   
smiled, she could feel Himiko's sadness in her ki.  
  
"Don't worry, Himiko-san. I had a very happy childhood with these people. The friend of my grandfather is   
now my grandfather and I have many sisters and brothers. So don't worry." Misao smiled, hoping to erase   
Himiko's worry.  
  
"Well then you must be anxious to create a family of your own, Mei-san." Himiko smiled sipping her tea.  
  
"What?" Would Misao had eyes she certainly would have blinked. *Was that it? Was that the reason behind my   
hurry to get Aoshi? Did I want to have a family?*  
  
"So have you found a suitable man yet, my dear friend?" Himiko had a wicked look.  
  
Without another thought Misao answered. "Not really--"  
  
"Then you just must come to Kyoto with me! There should be enough people for you to find the love of your   
life! And you could meet this 'family' of yours too! This is perfect! Now I have someone I can talk to   
during the journey!" Himiko's excitement shone in her eyes.  
  
Misao was in shock. Himiko wanted her to go to Kyoto? *No way! I am not ready yet! ...If ever.*  
  
"Himiko-san. I don't want to leave. Travelling is hard for me." *And facing my past even harder* she added in   
her thoughts.  
  
"No, no, no! You won't just stay here! You'll come! I just decided so. How long has it been since you went   
to see your family last time? Way too long if you ask me! No buts! We'll leave, let's see, now is Tuesday   
so...Let's say Friday that way we'll be in Kyoto either Sunday or Monday! Yes, that way you have time to get   
everything done." Himiko rose to her feet and drunk the rest of her tea in one gulp.  
  
"Thanks for the tea! Bye! Let's see at work!"   
  
And before Misao could say a word, Himiko had already disappeared.  
  
*She sure wasn't in a hurry to leave. Now what will I do? How can I make her understand that I don't want to   
leave?*  
  
******  
  
During the next days Misao did everything to change Himiko's mind. She came up with all kind of excuses,   
and the more desperate she became, more exotic were her reasons for staying.  
  
Nothing worked and Friday morning Misao found herself in a carriage going to Kyoto. *How did I allow this to   
happen?*  
  
But it was too late now, the carriage was already moving. Slowly but surely Makimachi Misao was heading   
towards Kyoto, against her will.  
  
Himiko talked all the time. Her husband was sound asleep, her children next to him, so only person to talk   
to was Misao, who only wished to be back in her nice little house. Isolated from the world outside.  
  
"Hey, cheer up! It is going to be fun."  
  
Misao just sighed, knowing it would be anything but fun. *Yeah, right.*  
  
"I am sure you didn't send any message to your family?"  
  
Misao shook her head. She was miserable.  
  
"Well, no worry! I know this inn in Kyoto. People are nice and rent is cheap. It's called Aoiya. Ever heard   
of it? Well I already sent them a message that you're coming. Don't worry about the money, my husband   
promised to pay for the room."  
  
Misao was close to a heart attack. *Aoiya?! Of all inns in Kyoto she just had to choose Aoiya? The one place   
I wanted to avoid... This 'vacation' will be hellish, I just know it!*  
  
"Mei-san? Are you all right? You look a bit unwell."  
  
*Unwell? Oh, really. I wouldn't have guessed...* Out aloud she just said she was fine. Himiko seemed to   
doubt her words but said nothing.  
  
***  
  
The rest of the journey was the same. Himiko talked, Misao listened trying to forget where she was going.   
Unfortunately Kyoto was the only thing in Himiko's mind. That and children.  
  
It took them two days to reach Otsu. Himiko would have wanted to continue to Kyoto, but the carriage rider   
said that the horses were too tired, so they slept there.   
  
*We're almost there.* that thought was enough to make sure that Misao couldn't sleep at night.  
  
  
The next day was Sunday and after having a delicious breakfast in the inn in Otsu Misao suggested that   
Himiko and others should look around a bit. Himiko was a bit hesitant but agreed. So they didn't leave   
for Kyoto immediately and that gave Misao some time to prepare herself. During the time others were   
looking around Otsu, Misao meditated.   
  
Her little 'trick' bought her very little time. After having dinner Himiko wanted to leave and Misao   
knew that nothing could stop her and so she followed her to the carriage and stepped in.  
  
They journeyed a bit faster than before and reached the outer parts of Kyoto in no time.  
  
Misao sat stiff in her seat and listened to the voices of people talking and felt a bit sick.  
  
She had arrived in Kyoto.  
  
  
End of chapter 2.  
TBC  
  
~Tiian~ 


	3. Chapter 3: Learning to live

Disclaimer: RK is not mine.  
  
I can't believe I got this ready this fast. Amazing. I think that thanks belong to the ones that have given me reviews. They truly inspire me to write.  
Thank you.  
  
  
Chapter 3. Learning to live  
  
  
The carriage stopped before the inn and the driver came to help Misao out of it. Misao stood still, listening to the voices of the city as the driver took her bag. Then he led Misao into the inn, into the Aoiya.   
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Okon and Omasu were talking about their very often upcoming subject of Hiko Seijuro when they heard talking from outside. A man and a woman?   
  
They turned and walked to the entrance. A good-looking brown-haired man was guiding a woman. The man caught their attention first. He was quite tall, he had brown eyes and a pleasant voice. He would be quite a catch.  
  
Then their attention turned to the woman the man was talking to. She wasn't tall, nor was she short. Quite average in height. She had black hair that reached her shoulders and she was wearing a blue kimono. What was surprising in her, was the clothing that covered her eyes. They blinked. Was she blind?  
  
The man raised his eyes and smiled to them. They backed away as he guided the woman inside.  
  
"We're in now, Mei-san." The man let go of the woman and she nodded to him. "Arigatou gozaimasu." Her voice was very feminine and quite quiet. And also distantly familiar.  
  
Then she turned to look directly at Omasu and Okon. "Excuse me. Are you servants? If you are, do you have a free room? I would like to stay here for a week."   
  
Okon stepped forward and took Misao's hand. "Yes, we are, and yes, we have a room just perfect for you. But it is upstairs. Is that all right with you?"   
  
Misao just nodded, took her hand away from Okon's and turned to the driver. "Did you take my walking cane from the carriage?"   
  
The man smiled uncomfortably. "I forgot. Wait for a moment and I'll get it for you." The man turned and walked outside.  
  
Misao turned to the two women and was about speak, when her sharp ears caught a sound. Someone was coming.  
  
"Hello, pretty lady! Welcome! I am Okina. May I help you?" A small smile rose to Misao's lips. One person had not changed. Okina walked and stopped right before her, but he didn't take her hand like Okon had. *Good, at least he knows that he doesn't have to touch me to let me know of his presence. Being blind doesn't mean being helpless.*  
  
"Yes, you can. I am Takahashi Mei and I will be staying here for a week. Could you guide me to my room? Those two women know which one it is. You two-" she said turning to Okon and Omasu. "-Could you get someone to bring my bag upstairs? And tell my thanks to the driver? Thank you." Then she turned to Okina. "Shall we go?" She raised her hand and Okina took a hold of it. And then they were already walking away.  
  
They were already in the stairs, when Okina remembered to ask what room Misao was going to have. And the answer stopped him for a moment. "The one next to Misao's."  
  
Misao stopped also. *They are still keeping my room? After I have been away for six years? And after hearing nothing from me for the past five?* Sharp pain hit her. *Do they still miss me? Still wait for me to come back here?* She had to know.   
  
They continued to walk up stair by stair. *Since when here were this many stairs here?* At last they reached the second floor and towards the end of the corridor. Okina stopped after a little while. "Here-" he opened the shouji. "-this is your room."  
  
He let go of Misao's hand and stepped away. For a moment Misao hesitated on the doorstep. Then she opened her mouth. "Excuse me, can I ask something?" She didn't turn to Okina when she spoke.  
  
"Yes, of course." he answered.  
  
Misao drew a deep breath. "Who is Misao?"  
  
He stiffened at her question and stayed quiet. Misao stood still, begging silently for him to speak, to tell her who she was.  
  
"My granddaughter." his answer was a silent whisper and she barely heard it.   
  
"So, she lives here? I would like to meet her. If she is anything like her grandfather, she must be a person worth meeting." Misao smiled, but her thoughts weren't happy. *Liar. I am such a liar. And a coward.*  
  
"She lives here yes, but I am afraid meeting her right at the moment is impossible. She ain't here, but she will come back, someday." Okina didn't mean to say more, but when he looked at the woman before her, something made him continue.   
  
"She has been on the road for the past six years. And now you must think that I am nothing but a silly old man wishing for the impossible to happen. You are wrong. Misao will come back, because nothing can stop her from doing so. I have never met a woman with more will power than she has got." his voice was steady and his words convincing. He believed in his words.  
  
"Now if you will excuse me, I'll take my leave." he turned and left, leaving Misao alone.   
  
She stood still, her thought racing, her heart aching. *Why did I come back? Why did I allow Himiko-san to talk me into this? Well, I didn't really have a choice in the matter. But... Did I want to come back? Did I somehow know that they would still miss me? Like I miss them? But I am not the same anymore. I am not Misao they knew. I am Mei. A person very different from the one they knew. I wish... I wish things were different. But wishing never changes anything. Misao was the child with wishes, I am the woman who knows that wishes never come true.* Misao sighed.  
  
Footsteps, someone was coming up the stairs. She turned into the direction, her senses alert. Her body automatically too a battle stance. Then she heard some one speak.  
  
"It must be awful not to be able to see. Think about it, Omasu. No colours or shapes... It must be awful." Okon shook her head.  
  
"You're right." Omasu answered. "I never want to lose my capability to see. How would I then know who is handsome and who is not."  
  
Okon giggled. "Omasu! That awful of you." She smiled at the younger woman.  
  
They reached the end of the stairs in silence and then noticed Misao who was still standing at the doorway.  
  
"Hi, we brought your bag and your cane Mei-san."  
  
*So it is -san and not -chan anymore. I wonder, if they knew who I was, would it be -chan?*  
  
Out aloud Misao asked their names since she had not heard them downstairs. Both women introduced themselves blushing and then guided her to inside her room.   
  
It wasn't a big room, a bit smaller than Misao's own room, but she didn't need anymore space, this was enough for her. There wasn't a much of furniture, just a little wooden drawer for personal stuff. On the floor there was a futon neatly folded and a pillow to sit on.   
  
Misao thanked Okon and Omasu and they understood to leave her be. But not before telling her that food came with the room and that she should just ask.  
  
After the shoji closed after them Misao began to make herself comfortable. She walked around the room making herself familiar with every little thing. Then she sat on the pillow.  
  
*It seems that they didn't recognize me... Humph. Not a surprise. I have changed, a lot. They are waiting for Misao, not me.* Misao sat silently and still.   
  
She didn't know what to do. She was hungry, but getting something to eat meant that she would have to face them again and listen to their pitying voices. She had heard it immediately. Almost every person pitied her and that drove her crazy. Was she that pathetic? Just because she couldn't see?  
  
*Hell no! I am strong. Stronger than ever.*  
  
But they did not know that and she didn't want them to know. It could reveal her.   
  
Misao sighed, she was tired. She really needed to get some sleep. Facing Okina had been harder than she had though. And so had been the journey. Suzu wasn't close to Kyoto (, which was one reason why she lived there).   
  
Misao opened her bag, took out her yukata and changed her clothes. She unfolded the futon and lay down. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. It was late after all.  
  
*************************  
  
The suns warm rays warmed Misao's skin as she woke up. Fresh air was flowing to the room from open window. Misao sat up her senses alerted. She wasn't at her house. Where was she? It took her a moment to remember that she was back in Kyoto, in the Aoiya.  
  
It had been six years since the last time she had been under this roof. Such a long time. She had missed the atmosphere that had always been in Aoiya, but now it had changed. Because of her.   
  
There was waiting in the air. Misao had felt it last evening. It was as if every single person waited for something to happen. She doubted that no one else could feel it but her. She was more sensitive for things like that now than she had been in the past. It was necessary.   
  
Misao sighed. It pained her to be here. Meeting them again, all the time lying. *I am a coward. I am so afraid of their reactions would they understand who I am. But I can't lock myself here for the whole week, I have to go down and face them, again and again.*  
  
Misao rose and took of her yukata. Her body had become for feminine during the years, but Misao had missed it. She took her kimono, the same she had used yesterday, and put it on, mentally preparing herself to face them again, she walked to the door.   
  
For a moment she considered taking her walking cane with her, but decided against it. She opened the door and entered the corridor. She headed towards the stairs intending to go downstairs.  
  
She walked down the stairs slowly, hands tracing the wall and supporting her in case she would lose her balance. The sounds were clear and so familiar. Yelling orders, thanking visitors, greeting new ones. Distant sounds from kitchen, chopping and making food, which scent in the air caused Misao's stomach to grumble, reminding her that she hadn't eaten dinner yesterday.  
  
Foot steps. Very, very faint. Barely even hear able to her sharp ears. And Misao knew exactly who it was. She knew only one man in Kyoto with this quiet step and who could make her so uneasy by just being near her. Aoshi.  
  
He stopped.  
  
"May I help you?"   
  
His voice was just like she remembered it to be. Soft, yet somehow sharp, masculine, cold... It sent shivers down her spine and her heart pounding. She forced herself calm down and answer to him in a quiet voice.   
  
"Yes, please."  
  
The air flowed from the way as he moved closer to her with his quiet steps. His clothing's fabric made small rustling sounds. And then his warm and strong hand took a hold of her arm. How amazing. During the time she had lived here, he had barely laid a finger on her and now...  
  
"Where to?" his voice still managed to set a faster beat to her heart. She was barely able to answer to him.  
  
"Kitchen or somewhere where I can get something to eat."  
  
The man didn't answer, just tugged from her left arm and guided her slowly down the stairs. Misao walked beside him, trusting his guiding. She could feel the warmth emitting from him on her skin.   
  
She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't notice the alert in his ki and wasn't able to react fast enough as she heard him speak. "Stop."   
  
She continued walking for just a step too much and lost her balance as she stepped on a flower vase. *Not again!* She thought as she fell forward, ready to face the floor, but the hit never came.  
  
Aoshi's hand tightened its grip on her arm and pulled her backwards against him his arm wrapping it around her waist. Misao's head hit his chest and the tightening of her eye cover loosened. It was threatening to fall away.   
  
Misao panicked. *NO! No one may see my eyes! My face! No one!* She tried to rise her both hands, but Aoshi held her left hand and so she could only rely on her right one. And her voice.   
  
"Let go of me!" she could feel Aoshi's surprise and a bit of loosening in his hold. She used her chance and broke free. Her feet hit the vase again and she fell towards the ground, the clothing disappearing from her hand.   
  
Pain hit her as she hit the floor. She let out a whimpering voice, ignored the pain and raised her hands to her eyes, covering them. She heard the vase break as it hit the floor.  
  
"Are you alright?" a hand came to rest on her shoulder, gently urging her to turn to him. Misao just nodded, refusing to turn, and spoke with a weak voice. "My eye cover...?" Her left ankle was hurting like hell and Misao doubted that she had twisted it, but first the cover.   
  
She heard him move first away from her then back. He extended his arm. "Here." And placed it to Misao left hand as she moved it to the direction in which she believed him to be. Her hair was covering her face from his eyes and then she quickly wrapped the clothing back. Feeling safe again, she spoke.  
  
"Excuse me, but I fear I twisted my ankle. Do you have any ice?" she kept her face facing the floor. The man didn't speak. The air moved. *What is he-?*  
  
"Aagh!" she squeaked as she felt strong arms wound themselves around her and lifting her from the ground. She threw her arms around his neck quickly, hitting his cheek in the process. "Ara, gomen nasai." She could feel her cheeks burning.  
  
"I'll take you to the kitchen. They may have ice there. It's better for your ankle if you don't put weight on it." Misao only nodded, blushing furiously.  
  
Aoshi carried her to the kitchen, receiving startled looks from Shiro, Kuro and other workers. He placed Misao sitting on one of the chairs in the room and fetched ice for her ankle as Misao sat still and silent. She could feel their gazes on her skin but didn't let it bother her.   
  
She suppressed a yelp when the ice touched her ankle. Aoshi raised her feet and placed it upon a small chair. "Let the ice stay there for a moment so it won't swallow so much." He rose to his feet. "Shiro, give her something to eat. She is hungry." Then he turned and left, just left. Before Misao had time to thank him.  
  
***  
  
"Okina, take care of Misao. We'll leave tonight."  
  
  
"He left. With Hannya, Beshimi, Hyottoko and Shikijou... No, wait Misao-chan!"  
  
  
"I'll find him! I'll find Aoshi-sama!"  
  
***  
  
*But I never did, did I now. I never found you. And I tried so hard... Oh well, it is all in the past. And I live in the now.* Misao sighed and relaxed. *The only reason I am here is Himiko. That stubborn woman.*  
  
"Miss? Miss? Here is food for you." Shiro's voice startled her. She had been so deep in her wandering thoughts that she had completely missed his arrival. His arrival with a bowl of takikomigohan.   
  
"Arigatou." Misao said smiling and extended her hands for him. "It is hot," Shiro warned her as he placed the bowl in her hands. It was indeed quite hot but she didn't let it show. "May I have chopsticks?" not able to see, she missed Shiro's suddenly red face. "Of course. Just a second." Misao heard him leave.  
  
It sure didn't take long before he returned with chopsticks and a glass of water. Misao thanked him and then concentrated on satisfying her stomach. She had indeed been hungry. She had eaten half of her portion when Okon and Omasu came to the kitchen, talking.  
  
"So at what time do you think he'll arrive?" Omasu asked.  
  
"Well, according to the letter he left Tokyo two days ago. Depending on whether he walks or comes with a train, he'll be here tomorrow or the day after that. It's sad that he'll have to come alone, but Himura-san thinks that Kaoru-san shouldn't travel. I can't believe that they are having already third child! I hope it'll be girl this time." Okon handed orders to one of the workers.  
  
"Yes, after two boys a girl would be perfect. And what about Sano-san and Megumi-sensei? I heard from Kaoru-san that after Sano-san returned from travelling, he practically swept Megumi-sensei of her feet. Isn't she now waiting for their first child?" Omasu handed her orders to Shiro.  
  
"Yes. Poor Yahiko-kun. He is surrounded by pregnant women, worried husbands and children. I think that this vacation will be good for him." Okon turned to leave after taking one order from the table.  
  
"It will be good seeing him again. I can't believe that he is already 17! He was ten when he came to Kyoto for the first time, right? He has already grown into a fine young man." Omasu spoke as they left the room leaving Misao to think all that she had just heard.  
  
*Six years is indeed a long time to be gone.*   
  
And she continued eating.  
  
  
TBC  
End of chapter 3.  
  
  
Ok, first day in the Aoiya done! Six days left.   
And yes, Misao _seems_ uneffected by the news of her old friends, but I assure you, it DID affect her.  
  
  
~Tiian~ 


	4. Chapter 4: Teach me, please

Disclaimer: RK is not mine, I just want to have some fun, so don't sue me.  
  
Till this chapter, I have used Misao's true name, but in this chapter she'll be Mei.  
  
  
Chapter 4. Teach me, please   
  
  
Not much had changed since the last time he had been here. Aoiya looked exactly same as it had before. Well, it was only one and half years since his last visit. The train had been on time and he had gotten to Kyoto faster than he had thought, hopefully they were prepared so that he wouldn't bother them.  
  
Myojin Yahiko, 17 years old young man, stepped inside Aoiya and stared. It was full. Servants run around everywhere, people laughed and ate. What was going on? Whole Kyoto seemed to be full of people.  
  
He looked around searching for a familiar face, when he saw something that seemed out of place. A young woman sat in one corner, alone. She seemed to be eating her breakfast, but the reason he gave her second look, was the bandage that covered almost half of her face, the rest was covered by her black hair. Something else also drew his attention. The way no one looked at her, her total isolation from this world was strange. Who was she? Why was she so alone that he could almost feel her pain? Almost touch it?  
  
"Yahiko-kun!" Omasu's voice drew Yahiko's attention away from the woman and when he turned back, she was gone. Yahiko's eyes widened and he blinked couple of times. *How...?* The table she had occupied was empty, only her empty bowl was left.   
  
Omasu reached Yahiko and followed his eye to the empty table Mei had sat at. "Okon! There is a table free in the corner!" Other woman nodded and walked to empty the table for new people.  
  
"Yahiko-kun. I am sorry if you had to wait. As you can see, we're quite busy at the moment. Could you wait at the garden? I'll come when I have time." Omasu seemed out of breath and before Yahiko had time to answer, she had already left to guide more people inside.  
  
Yahiko only shook his head and made his way through the crowd to Okina's pride, his garden. Even though the year was coming to an end, there were flowers in full bloom all over the place.  
  
Yahiko dropped his small bag onto the wooden floor and walked to the beginning of a small path that run through the whole garden, never going straight ahead, always changing it's direction. In the middle of the garden there was a small clearing and Yahiko stopped there.   
  
It was quiet there, the noises from the Aoiya were practically inaudible. The sun shone warmly, but it was clear that the year was ending. The clouds that covered the horizon told about upcoming rain. *Maybe that's why Aoiya is so full of people. They are all hiding from the rain.*   
  
Yahiko stood still, gently wind touching his brown hair. He had grown. He knew that and he had seen the surprise in Omasu's eyes when she had spoken to him. He was already taller than Kenshin, not that it was much. His body was quit muscular after all the training and work he had done at the dojo.  
  
He had also seen how girls looked at him. Sanosuke had 'kindly' explained it to him. He was good looking. But his body wasn't the only thing to have changed, he also thought differently. True, he still enjoyed teasing Kaoru, but it was harder now. She had two little boys. Sanosuke was becoming a father. Everything changed around him and it confused him, badly. And he had no one to talk to. He needed a break. That was why he had came here. To stop the changes and because not much had changed here.  
  
He drew his shinai from his back and started performing a kata Kaoru had taught him a long time ago. Being concentrated on it, he failed to notice the arrival of the same woman that he had stared in the dining room. She stood there, listening to the wind Yahiko's movements disturbed.  
  
After finishing the kata he turned and almost screamed out loud, but at the last moment stopped himself from doing so. *Where did she come from?*  
  
He didn't know what to say, so he just stared at her. She had a dark blue kimono that swept the ground and a cover of the same fabric run over her eyes. In her hand she had some kind cane. Her hair was black and it barely reached her shoulder. The loneliness he had felt around her before was now gone and it made him think that he had imagined the whole thing.  
  
The silence became slowly heavier and heavier. Neither one of them moved. Yahiko didn't know what to do. Something in this woman made him feel uneasy and something made him feel as if he were somehow inferior. He didn't know how to explain it.  
  
But Yahiko didn't like the feeling. His fighting ki flared and he raised his shinai without even thinking that the _woman_ before him was _blind_ or exactly what he was doing. He stepped slowly closer, woman stayed still. Then he hit. It was never meant to actually hit her and it sure didn't.   
  
Yahiko held his left rib. The woman had first defended against his hit and then stroked him in the ribs with her cane. But she looked like nothing had happened.  
  
"Slow." she spoke. Yahiko looked at her amazed. For a moment he had thought that she was mute also. Her voice was firm and strong. The feeling of inferiority just grew inside Yahiko. And he attacked again, this time seriously.  
  
For the next ten minutes Yahiko tried almost anything, but nothing broke her defence. Yahiko couldn't understand it. She was blind and she wore a kimono. How could she move so fast? After his anger subdued he actually started to enjoy sparring with this woman. She spoke only few words that he found to be his weak points.   
  
Suddenly the woman backed of, bowed and turned to leave.  
  
"Hey! Who are you?" Yahiko yelled after her, but she just continued walking away. Yahiko was just about to run after her, when he noticed that someone was approaching. It was Omasu. And when he looked at the woman again, she was gone. Again.  
  
Yahiko didn't bother to follow her, he knew they would meet again. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. And it filled him with anticipation.  
  
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Yahiko-kun." Omasu smiled. "I'll take you to your room now."  
  
Yahiko nodded. "Omasu-san." His voice cracked a bit, not yet having found its final sound.  
  
"Yes?"   
  
They walked towards Aoiya and the closer they came, the louder it got.   
Yahiko continued. "Do you have a blind woman staying with you here? I mean, she has some kind of bandage over her eyes and--"  
  
"Oh, you must mean Mei-san. Yes, she is staying here, this is her third day. She said that she would stay for a week. What about her?" Omasu looked at the wondering look on Yahiko's face. *I wonder, what is he thinking about?*  
  
Yahiko stayed quiet for the rest of the way. He almost forgot to take his bag from the floor. When they arrived to his room, he just thanked Omasu.  
  
"Yahiko-kun." Omasu spoke when he was just about to enter his room. "The room next to yours on the left is Mei-sans, but please don't bother her. She is rather weak, I think."  
  
*Weak?* Yahiko laughed to Omasu's surprise.   
"She is not weak." He just said before leaving Omasu alone in the corridor.   
  
Omasu looked at the closed shoji. *I wonder what he meant by that...* Then she just shrugged and went to help Okon.   
  
Yahiko stood in the middle of his room. He had always stayed in this room and it always looked the same. "Good, at least some things don't change." he said out loud. After having stood thinking for a moment, he left the room. *The room next to mine on the left.*  
  
He stood at the door for some time wondering if he should bother her when he hear a voice from the room.  
  
"How long are you going to stand there? Be careful or soon you have spiders weaving their webs all over you."  
  
Without another thought, Yahiko rushed inside. He was just about to speak when he noticed something. She was wrapping a bandage to her left ankle, which had swallowed badly. Every insult he had thought of disappeared.  
  
"Are you hurt?" Had she twisted her ankle today while sparring with him?  
  
"Not really, I just tripped in the stairs yesterday and twisted it. Don't worry, it doesn't hurt." she spoke calmly and finished. "There. Good as new."  
  
Then she turned to Yahiko. "And now, what can I do for you?"  
  
And Yahiko found his head empty. He really didn't know why he had came here. "I just... Well..." he rubbed the back of his hair.  
  
"Came to talk with me about the little time we sparred? All right. But could you get me a cup of tea. I would appreciate it."  
  
And before Yahiko understood what was happening, he was already asking for tea from Omasu. *She is amazing. I didn't know what I wanted but she did. And then she just asked for something and I moved to get it without hesitation. Without a fight like with Kaoru.  
  
"Here, two cups of tea. I hope you won't bother Mei-san too much." Omasu said, a bit worried. Yahiko just bowed and then he already rushed back upstairs. He moved inside her room without knocking, but it didn't seem to bother Mei who just sat on her pillow. There was another pillow on the floor now.   
  
"I hope you don't mind. I went to your room and got that pillow from there." her voice told him that whether it bothered him or not, it didn't matter to her.  
  
Yahiko closed the shoji and sat on the pillow. Mei extended her hand and Yahiko gave her another cup. She sipped some tea before placing the tea on the floor. "Before we start, I would like to know your name."  
  
Yahiko stared at her, didn't she know it? Of course, he had never told it to her. "I am Myojin Yahiko, from Tokyo."  
  
"And I am Takahashi Mei. Nice to meet you, Yahiko-chan."  
  
It took few seconds before Yahiko understood what she had said. *Yahiko-CHAN?* And automatically he attacked.  
  
"No one calls me -chan!" he leaped through the air at her...  
  
...And found himself on the floor. His right rib, his right arm and his right leg was on fire. She had thrown him on the floor _hard_.  
  
"Then prove to me that you're worthy to be called with some other way." she said calmly and took another sip of her tea. She was as if nothing had happened.   
  
Yahiko looked at her angrily. He was just about to launch another attack, when she turned to look at him. The smile on her face seemed to speak to him, 'Yes, attack me. Go ahead. I'll give the beating of your life.'  
  
With an effort, Yahiko pressed down his anger and sat to the pillow again.  
  
"Never attack when you're angry. That's the very first and very important lesson you have to learn." the smile had faded from Mei's face and she just sipped her tea.   
  
Now when Yahiko looked at her, she really seemed helpless and weak, just like Omasu had said. But he knew better now and he knew also that she had intentionally allowed him to see her strength. So that he could see that her blindness didn't matter. She was able to beat him, easily, even though she had not seen him. He had automatically underestimated her like many had before, or so he doubted.   
  
"This was not my first lesson, was it? The first was not to underestimate you." Yahiko said calmly, it had been a test. She had tested him. First she had made herself seem superior, which she was, and then when he had 'attacked' her, she had shown him that she shouldn't be taken lightly. Then somehow she had known that calling him -chan would make him angry and he had fallen for it.  
  
"No, it was not. It seems, that you can think when you want to, Yahiko-chan."   
  
This time he made sure that he didn't move a muscle. She had said that he would have prove himself worthy and that was what he was going to do. She smiled as if he would have done exactly what she thought he would do. Anger threatened to rise again, but he suppressed it.   
  
*This woman can teach me, she can show me what I need to know. Kenshin has no wishes to do so, Sano doesn't know how to teach and Kaoru doesn't know what to teach. But this woman can and I think she will. Why else would she have told me this much?* Yahiko looked at Mei carefully, thinking about all this. Then, since Mei didn't seem to be interested to say or do anything, he did.  
  
"Please, teach me." he wanted to continue, to tell her why and what, when she rose to her feet. Without saying a word she just closed the window as first drops of water fell from the sky and touched the tatami. Then she returned to her pillow and sat down. Her teacup was already empty, there where Yahiko's was still full.  
  
She sat down and her face relaxed. The position she sat in now was different from previous. It reminded Yahiko of something... *The icicle! Shinomori meditates in that same position. Is she also meditating?* he frowned, not knowing what to do. Somehow he felt like he would be an intruder now and so he rose and left. Just before closing the shoji he glanced at her for the last time. She looked peaceful, serene. He closed the shoji.  
  
*What am I going to do now?* he walked to his room. *Darn, I forgot my pillow in her room! Well, no way I am going to go in there now!* So where and what to do. The answer came easily. *I am hungry.*  
  
He walked downstairs and glanced into the dinner room. Some that had escaped from the rain early enough were dry, but the people who hadn't been so lucky were soaking wet. But never the less the room was full. So he walked to the kitchen. *Maybe I can snatch something to eat without bothering anyone.*  
  
He failed.   
  
He was noticed and instead of getting something to eat, he was asked to make food for others to eat. And since he couldn't do that, he did the running. Whenever someone in the room needed something, they called for him and his job was to get them what they wanted. Then he understood just how hard their jobs were. They had to be kind and all smiley no matter tired or hungry they themselves were.  
  
"I am so sorry Yahiko-kun. You came here to rest and we have forced you to work. This is a shame for us." Okon looked just as worried as Omasu next to her. They had a few minute break and they ate something.  
  
"No worries. This is a way to keep up my shape. And you allow me to stay here free, I have to make up for that somehow." Yahiko answered to them. He also had a small break and he had sat down on one of the chairs. Omasu and Okon had soon joined him.  
  
"So what kind of person Mei-san is? I mean we hardly see her." Okon asked curiously. She and Omasu had talked about this mysterious 'Mei'-character many times since her arrival.  
  
Yahiko thought for a moment. Then he shook his head. "I am not sure. The way she acts changes all the time. But, Omasu-san, what made you think she is weak?"  
  
Omasu and Okon looked at each other. "But she is." Omasu started. "The air around her tells that she isn't used to hard work or hard life. And just yesterday she twisted her ankle."   
Okon nodded. "That's it. Aoshi-san carried her to her room since she couldn't lay any weight on her ankle."  
  
Yahiko thought about what they said for a moment and then shook his head again. "I can't agree with you. Her life must be hard, not seeing anything. And today, there was nothing wrong with her ankle, she walked normally. I did see the bandage, but she said that her ankle wasn't painful. There is also something else--"  
  
"Okon-san and Omasu-san! More people arrived! We need your help." one of the servants yelled from the door. Both women sighed and placed their cups on the table. "Back to work then." said Omasu. "Could you wash our dishes, Yahiko-kun. Thank you." Okon said. And then they left.  
  
Yahiko sat down for some time after they were gone before he also stood up. He gathered their empty bowls and went to help the washer. He was just finishing when he sensed something. He turned and saw Mei. She was talking with Shiro and then Kuro came to her with a tray. On the tray there was a bowl of food and water to drink. Mei bowed and was just about to leave, probably with Kuro, when Shinomori Aoshi stepped into the room.  
  
He was wearing his brown yukata and looked just as cold as before. His eyes locked with Yahiko's for a moment and he felt a chill. *Man! That man is cold.* But he had to admit that he looked strong and Yahiko knew he was.   
  
Then he noticed something else. Something in Mei changed. First she went absolutely still and then she seemed to shrink. She had never seemed as helpless and weak as she did now. Aoshi had his head turned into her direction now and he spoke something. Mei shook her head in denial. Then he spoke some more. Mei didn't move and Yahiko didn't see if she spoke or not, but the result was that Aoshi took the tray from Kuro and walked from the room, Mei just a step behind him.  
  
*What did just happen?* He knew that something important had just happened, but he couldn't understand what. *I'll have to talk to Mei.* Now knowing what he would do, he finished the dishes fast and before any one had time to give him more to do, he slipped out of the room. Walking up the stairs he thought of different ways to ask her about what had happened. He was close to her room when he heard someone speaking. *The icicle.*  
  
"Is your ankle all right?"   
  
A small moment of silence before Mei answered with voice he barely heard. "Close to, but not quite."  
  
More silence.  
  
"I saw you in the garden today."   
  
Yahiko gasped. *Did he see us sparring? But...*  
  
"I know."  
  
*Mei knew?! Was that why she had left in such a hurry? I thought it was because of Omasu.* Yahiko's thoughts raced through his head.  
  
"Who are you?" his voice was now even colder.  
  
"I am Takahashi Mei. That's all there is to know about me." There was some fire in her voice now.   
  
*Ice and fire, fire and ice. Shinomori and Misao, Misao and Shinomori. Mei kind of reminds me of Misao, wherever she is. But Mei is much more mature than Misao could ever be. That weasel.*   
  
Mei continued and Yahiko concentrated on listening. "I wish no harm to anyone in here. My friend asked me to came here for a vacation. Nothing more. You are one suspicious man, Shinomori Aoshi."  
  
"How do you know my name?" For a moment Yahiko thought that just now he had sounded a bit curious, but over ruled the possibility. Shinomori Aoshi never revealed anything.   
  
"Being blind doesn't mean being deaf. I can't see so I listen. Your name has come up. Now could you please leave me. I wish to eat." Mei's voice left nothing unclear. She wanted him out of her room and she wanted it now.  
  
Yahiko heard no sounds and the sudden opening of the shoji scared him. Aoshi was almost out of her room already when he said his last words. "I'll be watching you."  
  
"I wish I could return the favour." Mei's last words could easily be heard through the wall. And she was angry.  
  
Aoshi looked at Yahiko sharply before walking past him without saying a word. Yahiko looked as he walked away before he went and knocked on Mei's door. He heard nothing from other side. He slid the shoji lightly open. "May I come in Mei-san?" She was silent. He could see that she was staring out from the window. When no reaction came, Yahiko stepped inside.  
  
He closed the shoji. Mei hadn't moved at all, she just stared out of the window. Yahiko walked to him. "Mei-san." She didn't answer. Yahiko laid his hand on her shoulder. Then she sighed. "I can't remember him ever being angry at me."  
  
What was she talking about? Shinomori? "What do you mean?"  
  
"Nothing." she turned and walked to the tray. "Would you like to eat something? I noticed that you were in the kitchen."   
  
She sounded empty and down. Totally different from the woman he had spoken with not so long ago. The change made him sad. How could the woman he had admired earlier turn into this? "What is wrong with you? You seem so different."  
  
Mei had sat down and placed her hand into her lap. "Have you ever heard of something called 'ki'?"  
  
"Yes, but does it have to do with this? With the way you are?" Yahiko sat onto his pillow before Mei. Somehow it seemed as if she was regaining some of her strength.  
  
"Because just a moment ago I fought with Shinomori. Not with my hands or with any weapon, but with myself. With my 'ki'. You see, every living thing has a life force called 'ki'. It is a part of what we are. Part of your strength comes from it. Strong and skilful fighters can rise their ki and when they add it to the strength that lies in their bodies, in their muscles, they became much stronger." Mei drank some water, to clear her throat.  
  
"Just now I battled with Shinomori using only my ki. It drains a lot of energy, I can tell you that. Especially when fighting someone as strong as he is."   
  
So that was it. She was tired, just plain tired. Somehow it made him feel better. But something still bothered Yahiko. It was probably meaningless information, but he wanted to know. "You said that you fought, right? So which one of you won?"  
  
Mei raised her head fast. "Which one won?" A sigh. "I can understand why you want to know. All right. I did. But that doesn't mean anything."  
  
"Yes it does! It does mean! You are stronger than him."  
  
"This time yes, but what about next time? Emotions affect your ki. The stronger your feelings are, the stronger you become. But a warning." She faced him and he could only think that if he could see her eyes, they would probably be on fire now. At least her voice was.  
  
"Ki is needed to live. Without ki you are just a plant. Nothing more. That is why people rarely fight using only ki. It is always life threatening. Another thing, I'll tell why never to attack when angry. Anger makes it harder to use your ki in a battle. That is why a true fighter never attacks when he is angry. Remember that. There are other reasons too, but remember that."   
  
Yahiko thought. If fighting with ki was so dangerous, hadn't she just been in danger. When he voiced his thoughts, Mei just shook her head.  
  
"I know the dangers and so did he. He just tested me to she how strong I am. Many warriors do so when countering someone they consider to be a threat. But now I am kind of tired and would like to rest. I know it is not that late, but the fight I had took a lot out of my strength and I need time to regain it."  
  
She didn't say it directly, but he knew she wanted him to leave. "Will you eat? I can take the tray with me if you don't."  
  
Mei nodded. "Take it. I lost my appetite." Then she seemed to fall into some kind of trans. The only reason he could tell, was the way her every muscle relaxed. He picked up the tray and left.   
  
He almost went down to give them the tray when he realized that he hadn't eaten since breakfast. *I am hungry.* He went to his room.  
  
"Someone has to eat this, it can very well be me." he said before he started eating. *I'll take the tray done later.* he added in his thoughts.  
  
  
End of chapter 4.  
  
TBC  
  
I used Mei because this whole chapter was from the point of view of people that know her as Mei and not as Misao.  
  
Please, my muse! More Aoshi, make me write more Aoshi!  
And give me strength to go trough the next days. This is going to be hard.  
  
(By the way I have already written chapter 5, but I won't upload it just yet.)  
  
~Tiian~  
  
(ps. That ki-fight thingie is all my imagination.) 


	5. Chapter 5: Teaching and learning

Disclaimer: RK is not mine.   
  
And we return to using Misao. At least when I view the story from her point of view.  
  
  
Chapter 5. Teaching and learning  
  
  
It was already late morning when Misao finally thought that she was ready to leave her room. After the battle with Aoshi she didn't want to show herself before she knew that nothing could betray the fact that her knees almost gave up with every step, that tired she still was. But she knew that once she got something to eat, her strenght would return pretty fast. And strenght was what she needed if she planned to start his trainig today, like it had to be started. It was already Wednesday and she would leave next Sunday. Only about five days time. It wasn't much, but it would be enough. It had to be.  
  
But there was something that she had to take care of before the training could begin. She many times sensed that something bothered Yahiko and that was something that had to be solved first before anything else.  
  
She was just about to stand up when she felt that someone was coming and since she could hear steps, it couldn't be Aoshi. *Thank you, kami-sama.* Then who was it? *Oh, perfect. Yahiko.*  
  
He knocked at Misao's door. "Oh, you still know how to knock. I already thought that you had forgotten how to do it." She could feel his annoyance as he stepped inside and she smiled. She hadn't been able to tease anyone in a long time. It was something Mei didn't do. *It seems that something in this place and in the people here rises my old spirit a little.* Her thoughts darkened. *Is that a good thing? After all, I may never return here after this. Will the Mei I have learned to be here disappear?*  
  
"Morning. You seem to be back to normal. What a pity." he said but Misao knew that he was relieved. He needed something strong to hang on to and she had chosen that it would be her.  
  
Misao showed him his pillow which was somehow still in her room. Well, at least it saved them the trouble of having to get. "Sit down." And Yahiko did. Very noisily. Well, it was not her job to teach him to be silent, besides she doubted that his character was not suitable for a ninja. Just like hers hadn't been. Too noisy.  
  
She could almost feel his thoughts running through his head and so she gave him some time to sort them out. He stared at her as if waiting for her to speak, but it needed to be him. He needed to break this silence. He was the one that had to ask her to teach him, like he had a day before. And he knew this.  
  
Yahiko cleared his throat. He didn't want his voice to start cracking now. It didn't do so anymore as often as it had before, but sometimes it still reminded him of the time it had. And every one of his friends had laughed at it. It had been embaressing.   
  
Finally he found his voice. "Will you teach me? I asked it already yesterday but you didn't answer." his voice was dead serious. He really wanted, no he needed her to teach him. She was the only one that could, that would.  
  
Misao was changing her position for meditation, when his voice stopped her. "If you don't want to teach me then tell me so, but don't just go silent again." he was annoyed. *Is she going to start meditating again?*  
  
"I will teach you, yes. I thought that was clear to you. But before we start--" she returned to her previous sitting style. "--you have to tell me what is bothering you. Before we solve that, you can't learn a thing."  
  
Yahiko blinked. "There is nothing bothering me." There truly wasn't, at the moment. But he knew what she meant. *How did she know?*  
  
Misao let put an annoyed sound. "Rubbish. I sensed it before and I sense it now. If you can't solve it, I can't teach you anything." Yahiko opened his mouth to protest, but Misao continued. "And even if I did teach you, it would serve no good. So tell me what troubles you. Before you do so, I won't teach you a thing. I won't be here for long so decide fast."  
  
Yahiko sat still and thought. He really wanted and needed someone to talk to, but was this woman the right one? He watched her and somehow he knew that she was. She knew how much a change could confuse and hurt. And so he started telling her. She would know what to do.  
  
"I am seventeen years old. During the last few years I have changed a lot and so has everything around me." he stopped to see how she reacted. She did nothing, but nodded for him to continue. And the dam was broken.  
  
He told her how the changes in him scared, he didn't know what to do. And how he had no one to talk to. "I have friends, but they are changing too. Everything is so different. My teacher Kamiya Kaoru, or Himura Kaoru these days, she has now two boys and she is pregnant. Her husband, another friend of mine, is all the time with her or with their boys. He has no time to listen, neither one of them has. When Sanosuke, also my friend, returned from travelling around the world, he married Megumi and now she is pregnant too. They are all talking about children or other things that I don't really understand. I feel all alone among them."  
  
"That is why I came here. Here has nothing changed since Misao left." Yahiko sounded sad. "I hoped I could meet her. She is six years older than I am, all of my friends are older than I am, but somehow we seemed so much alike in the past. I think she is someone who could understand me. It is so sad that she disappeared. I wish she would come back."  
  
He looked at Mei. "She was the change in here. She was the one that changed this place and every one in here. After she left, everything has stayed untouched. I don't know if she would be happy about that."  
  
Misao was guiet, his words had strucked the core. But this wasn't about her problems but about his. She sighed. This was going to be hard for her.   
  
"Yahiko-chan. Changing is always hard, but for moving forward it is necessary. Everything changes. It may indeed be very painful, but results ain't always bad. When a summer ends, every flower changes. They drop they leeves and petals, they die. But they leave behind a seed for the next summer. So when the winter is over, that little seed grows into a beautiful flower. It is the same with, for example, butterflies. Through many probably painful changes a small and not so beautiful caterpillar becomes a magnificent butterfly. Don't tell that you are weaker than a caterpillar."  
  
She sighed. "I myself have changed many times, sometimes the change has been very painful indeed, but I have succeeded. I am becoming the person I want to be. All changes, good and bad, has to be accepted. That is the key into moving forward in your life."  
  
"Try to understand, your friends have gone or are at the moment going through changes themselves. Becoming a mother or a father is not easy. The reason why they seemingly don't have time for you, is because they have their own problems and changes to think about. That doesn't mean that they have forgotten you or that they haven't noticed that you have problems, it simply means that they believe that you are old enough, strong enough to go trough your problems by yourself. They believe in you, now all you have to do is believe in yourself and move forward."  
  
Yahiko was quiet, Mei was silent. Yahiko thought about her words, he had sensed the pain when Mei had told him about the changes she had had to go through. He understood now what he had to do. He had been right, Mei had known exactly what to say. He understood something else also. When she had told him that he would have to prove himself worthy, she hadn't simply meant that he would have to be able to hit her, she also meant that he would have to find a way to move forward, like she had said. Like she had done. No matter how hard, he would have to do it.  
  
"Arigatou, Mei-san." he bowed. She was just as strong and just as smart as he had thought. Without even understanding it himself, he had raised her to the same level with Kenshin. He couldn't have said better. Maybe differently, but not better.  
  
"Good, now get me something to eat. I am hugry."  
  
Crash. Yahiko fell to the floor. All his oh so beautiful and wise thoughts left his head in a rush.  
  
"All right, all right." he muttered under his breath as he walked out of her room, her laughter keeping him company.  
  
***********************************************************************   
  
Shinomori Aoshi wasn't in a good mood. He hadn't been able to gather his ki back together yet. SHE had smashed it quite badly. That woman...  
  
When he had seen her for the first time, in the stairs, and had helped her, she had seemed helpless, harmless. He had had no idea of what she was capable of. And that made him angry, she had been able to fool him. When he had seen her in the garden, defending herself against Yahiko, he hadn't believed his eyes.  
  
Never in his life had he been fooled so completely.   
  
Takahashi Mei had humiliated him, badly.  
  
First she had fooled him into thinking that she was helpless and then she had smashed his ki into a bad disorder. She had won, easily. That was why he had left her room. He still wasn't sure what she was up to, but he was going to find out.   
  
He headed towards her room, when Yahiko came into his path. He was deep in his thoughts and didn't notice Aoshi before he had already hit him. Surprised he stared up, right into his eyes. They were burning with cold fire and he quickly stepped from him way, apologized and left to get food for Mei. Prying that Aoshi wasn't going to bother her.  
  
For a moment Aoshi thought of going to see her again but decided against it. He didn't know what to say to her and he didn't want another face of between them. Not just yet anyway.  
  
So instead of going to see Mei, he went to see Okina.  
  
He was standing in the garden just as Aoshi had thought. He walked straight to him. If Okina was surprised at his arrival, he didn't show it.  
  
And just as always Aoshi went straight to the business. "Takahashi Mei is or has been a ninja."  
  
Okina looked up, rather amazed. "What do you mean? Are you talking about the woman with the eye cover? But-"  
  
Aoshi nodded. "She fooled us all. I saw her yesterday fighting with Yahiko. Here, in this part of the garden."  
  
Okina looked into Aoshi's blue eyes. *Us all? You included?* Out loud he just asked him if he was sure.  
  
Aoshi looked at him coldly. "I know what I saw." If his voice had been any colder, it would have frozen his lips as it came out of his mouth.  
  
"That's not what I meant." Okina said calmly. "I meant the ninja part. How can you be so sure?"  
  
"The answer is the same. I know what I saw. The way she moved is definately the way ninja's move. I should know." he looked into the eyes of the older man, trying to guess what he was thinking.  
  
"Do you think...Yaminobu?" older man said finally. He had thought of this immediately, just like Aoshi had. But just like Aoshi, he had been reluctant to say it out aloud.  
  
Aoshi shook his head. "I don't know. I haven't truly spent time with her so it is hard to tell. Has she done anything strange around you or asked something weird?"  
  
Okina closed his eyes and thought of the rare moments with her, when he remembered something. "I don't know if this is anything, but the day she arrived, she asked me who is Misao and said that it would a pleasure to meet her."  
  
"Had anyone mentioned Misao's name around her?" Aoshi watched Okina. *If she knows something about Misao...*  
  
"That is why I think it is nothing. You see, I was guiding her to her room, when I realized that I didn't know which one it was. So I asked and Okon told me that it was the one next to Misao's. So she did hear her name." Okina shook his head. "This is getting dangerous. If she indeed is a spy, she is very brave and probably rather strong."  
  
"She is strong indeed." Aoshi nodded. "After I saw her spar with Yahiko, I helped her to carry her food upstairs. And in her room I plainly asked her who she was. At the same time I attacked her with my ki. She put mine into quite disorder."  
  
Okina laughed. "I though that there was something wrong with you." Then he got serious again. "If she is Yaminobu what are we going to do with her?"  
  
Aoshi looked at him sharply. He had thought about it also. "You know what has to be done."  
  
"This is Meiji, Aoshi. We can't just-"  
  
"Okina, Yaminobu ninjas have declared a war to us. We are in war even though the blood shed has yet to start. We can't escape it." Aoshi stated matter of factly, his face remaining impassive.  
  
Okina shook his head. "I can't believe that they would do such a thing. The peace was reserved even in Bakumatsu. They rule the west and we rule the east. It has been so already before my time."  
  
He looked at Aoshi. "I believe it is because of their new leader. This is his idea."  
  
Aoshi nodded his agreement. "I think so too. Shimabara is a dangrous man, but at the moment we have to concentrate on the danger Takahashi Mei may be turn out to be, if she indeed is working for him."   
  
***********************************************************************  
  
"Mmmm... This is delicious. These people really know how to cook." Misao aka Takahashi Mei stuffed more food into her mouth. It had been almost a day since she had eaten last time. She could almost feel herself getting stronger with every mouth full. As well as she could feel Yahiko's confusion as he tried to sort things out.  
  
Misao hoped that what she had told him had helped him, or would help in the future. She knew that he was a smart boy, or should she say young man. When she had sparred against him earlier, she had noticed that he had grown quite tall, taller than she was. Not that it was much.  
  
He had also became more skilful and he sure didn't lack imagination. So now all she had to do was to teach him some of the basics of combining skill and imagination and also something about ki.  
  
They didn't have much time, but she would do what she could. She knew that Yahiko hungered to be strong and that the people in Tokyo believed that he was strong enough. That was why they didn't teach him what he obviously needed to know.  
  
Misao did doubt that Kaoru didn't know that much about ki or how to use it. At least she hadn't all those years ago. Kenshin knew and Misao doubted that so did Sanosuke, but the one teaching Yahiko did not.   
  
But the mistake they had done, she would correct. When Yahiko would return to Tokyo, he would be someone they could be proud of. Even more than they were now. *Maybe this 'vacation' of mine wasn't such a bad idea after all. Well, I may not find the love of my life, since it is lost already, but Yahiko just may make this all worth it.*  
  
She finished her meal. "All right then."  
  
Yahiko looked at her. "Huh?"  
  
Misao smiled at him. "Let us begin."   
  
  
  
  
End of chapter 5.  
  
TBC  
  
Hey, do you still remember who is Shimabara? He was mentioned in the chapter 1.  
  
And someone please help me to get this finished = give me reviews!  
  
(I'll upload chapter 6 next weekend. That's a promise!)  
  
~Tiian~ 


	6. Chapter 6: To move forward

Disclaimer: I do not own RK. I just like to write about them.  
  
It is still Wednesday. The day hasn't changed.  
  
  
Chapter 6. To move forward   
  
  
Yahiko was beaten, literally. When Mei had told him that they would start, he had been overjoyed and totally clueless. He hadn't had any idea of what it truly meant.  
  
First she had forced him to just sit down while she had done 'something' to test his ki, or something. Yahiko hadn't really understood, but it took two hour. He wasn't allowed to speak or to move. Mei's window was open and the sun shone brightly, making the whole room very hot. When she was finished doing what ever she was doing, he had been so stiff that he hardly could move.  
  
At that point she told him that she had just tested his patience. That she hadn't really done anything. He nearly lost it there and then, but managed to hold himself still. *I will get my revenge, I will get my revenge...* was the only thought keeping him sitting. Mei had laughed at his efforts, but he didn't give her what she wanted. He could stand this.  
  
And then...  
  
Sweat and more sweat.  
  
She had asked him if he knew a place where they could start training, maybe even spar a bit. He had told her about the training hall that was a part of the inn. Mei hadn't really been surprised, he knew it. It seemed as if she had know it all along. But since this was her first time here, she couldn't have known. And soon Yahiko had something else to think about.  
  
Mei had asked him to leave her room for a while and he had done so. It was a perfect time to get his shinai. When Mei called him in, he hadn't believed his eyes. She had changed her white kimono into tight brown pants and a skin-tight brown shirt with loose sleeves. A wide brown belt circled her waist. Her hair was tied up and the cover over her eyes was now brown, like the rest of her clothes. Somehow she seemed like a different person. And this new Mei was dangerous. And sexy.  
  
"What are you staring at?"  
  
He had blushed. His whole face had been on flames when he had tried to stutter something out of his mouth. Mei had just shook her head.  
  
"Let's go. Show me the way."  
  
And they had left for the training hall. Yahiko had been too embarrassed to say anything on the way and so they had walked in silence. The few servants that they saw on their way, had looked at them strangely, but stayed quiet. Wisely.   
  
Later on Yahiko almost wished that they wouldn't have reached the hall at all. Because Mei had beaten him and badly. She had said that she needed to know how skilful he was before she could start teaching anything new.  
  
That had taken an hour. Hour of beating Yahiko. He had known that she didn't use all of her strength, but the strikes had still hurt him. After that she said that his training started, but Yahiko saw no difference between the first hour and the next two. After three hours she said that it was enough for now. It was dinnertime. They would continue after it.   
  
Yahiko groaned at the thought, but he had to admit that something had changed in him. More precisely in the way he fought. He though more now. And it took him less time to move from one move to another, and if she needed three hours to make him this much better, what could she do if she had weeks?  
  
He walked down the stairs his whole body throbbing with pain. He was going down to get Mei something to eat. And to himself later, but Mei first. He sighed in relief when the stairs ended.   
  
"Yahiko."   
  
A voice that cold could belong to only one person. Shinomori Aoshi. Yahiko feared that this had something to do with Mei. But not wanting to be impolite to one of his hosts, he turned. "Shinomori."  
  
He looked colder than he remembered and his fear grew. *Can't you just leave her alone? What has she done to you?*  
  
"We need to talk." Plain and simple. With a voice that had given orders to Oniwabanshu and no one had resisted.  
  
"If it is about Mei-san, forget it. I don't want to listen to your warnings or -"  
  
"I am afraid you have to." Okina said. Yahiko turned and saw him. He had used to seeing a kind and funny old man, but the Okina before him now was dead serious.  
  
"There are things you need to know about and things we need to know about." Okina walked past him. "Follow me."  
  
If the one asking him to follow had been the icicle, he wouldn't have moved an inch. But it wasn't him. It was Okina. And so Yahiko walked after him.  
  
To his surprise Okina lead them to the garden, to the same place where he had sparred with Mei for the first time. Both other men looked around them, making sure that no one was near enough to hear them.  
  
Okina sighed sadly. "I am sorry that I have to involve you in this, but you're the one closest to Mei, which means that you know her best."  
  
Yahiko shook his head furiously. "If you think that I am just going to tell you every little thing I know, you are wrong. She is helping me, I won't betray her."  
  
"Listen to what he has got to say before judging." Aoshi looked at the boy before him steadily.  
  
Yahiko didn't even look at him, he stared at Okina. "Well. Are you going to brain wash me or what?"  
  
"This is not a game, Yahiko-kun. There is a ninja clan called Yaminobu. They have declared a war to us. It is obvious that Mei has been or is a ninja. They could have sent her and in that case, she may be very dangerous to us."  
  
Yahiko stared at him eyes wide. *A war? Yaminobu... Why does it sound so familiar?*  
  
Aoshi continued from where Okina had ended. "We don't know exactly why the war was declared, but we have no doubts that Yaminobu ninjas are dangerous. Long time ago there were fights between us and them, both sides wanting to be superior to the other. It ended when the leaders understood how useless it was. No matter how many battles took place, neither one the sides survived as a winner. So a peace was made. Yaminobu ninjas rule the west and we the east. Now they are threatening the balance that has existed for centuries."  
  
A realization dawned on Yahiko. "Wait a second! Yaminobu ninjas are the ones Kenshin fought in Kekkai forest to get Tomoe back!"  
  
Okina and Aoshi glanced at each other's. Okina nodded. "During the Bakumatsu we just as well as Yaminobus fought against Ishinshishi. But even in the midst of all that violence, Yaminobus took no action against us. Nor we against them."  
  
"Then why now? And what makes you think that Mei-san has anything to do with it?" Yahiko stared at them furiously. He had finally found a person who understood him and cared for him. He wasn't going to give up on her so easily.   
  
"Why now? We are not sure. It may have something to do with their new leader, Shimabara. And what comes to Mei, Okina already told you that. She is a ninja and I am sure that she isn't one of us. That means that she can be Yaminobu investigating and that way threatening our safety. Yours as well." Aoshi stared into Yahiko's eyes down his nose and noticed the daring look in his eyes. *This is useless. We can't change his opinion of her.*  
  
Aoshi looked at Okina and shook his head. Okina nodded his understanding. They wouldn't be able to change his mind, the only one that could was Mei. Now all they could do was to watch her and try to figure out what she was after.  
  
"That's all? Then excuse me, I have things to do." Yahiko knew that he shouldn't have spoken as arrogantly as he just had, but he just couldn't help it.  
  
Yahiko walked back into the Aoiya in top speed. He didn't want to hear anymore of this. The rational part of him understood all that they had told him, but something in his heart told him that they were terribly wrong. He couldn't explain it, but he knew that Mei could be trusted. Why else would she help him? And if she was here to collect information, why did she stay in her room all the time? None of it made any sense.  
  
He walked to the kitchen and the looks Kuro and Shiro gave him told him that they were on the same side as Okina and Aoshi. Again a part of him understood, but a part of him disagreed with them. Mei could be trusted, he knew it. But of course he had no proofs so trying to convince them was useless.  
  
He walked the stairs, the aching he had already almost forgotten returning. The tray felt heavier than ever and couple of times he almost dropped it.  
  
*Mei-san is not the enemy, I know it!*  
  
He walked to her room, barely being able to open the shoji. Mei was sitting in one of the shadowed corners eyes closed. Yahiko placed the tray on the tatami and saw Mei move.  
  
"That took some time." was all she said. No questions, no complains. She merely stated a fact. She walked across the room and no matter how hard Yahiko tried, he couldn't hear her footsteps.   
*She may be a ninja-*   
Mei sat down just as silently.  
*-but she isn't bad. She is not here to destroy Oniwabanshu.*  
  
She held out her hand and he gave her chopsticks. Then she moved her hand over the tray in some strange way and took her bowl.  
  
"How did you know where the bowl was?" Yahiko couldn't stop himself from asking. Then he looked at her, afraid that she might get mad at him.  
  
But instead of showing any scary face, she smiled. Her smile was soft, happy and very beautiful. Not a smile of someone out to kill anyone. *Misao had a smile like that. Well, hers was more carefree, but still. Happy and soft. And forgiving. To think that she forgave Shinomori in a second for all that he did.*  
  
"Want to know how?" Mei's word interrupted his thoughts. *Now what did I ask...* He just nodded, not remembering his question. Then he remembered that she couldn't see him and said yes out loud.  
  
She smiled again and her voice was gentle. "Since I can't see, I have to get the knowledge of the surrounding world in other ways. I smell things and hear better that normal people, I feel ki and that's how I know where people are. And last I have my sense of touch. I feel the change in the wind as someone goes by me, I feel cold and hot. Just now it was the sense of touch I used."  
  
She put the bowl back down and placed her hand over it. "The food is hot, so when I move my hand over the bowl, I can feel the heat from the bowl. That's how I knew it was there. That simple." She took the bowl and started eating.  
  
Yahiko thought about what he had just heard and nodded. It all made sense. "It must be hard though. Never finding out what everything looks like, never seeing any colours." he spoke absentmindedly mainly to himself. But he didn't fail to notice Mei's reaction.  
  
She winced as if she would have been hit and she seemed sad. And angry. Her mouth was a thin line and her hands clenched. "Oh, I do know what colours look like, I know what things really look like. Sometimes I wish that I wouldn't, but I remember. I remember the clear blue sky that is like a sea. White clouds like ships sailing across it. I remember the brown trees with green leaves, I remember garden full of flower of all colours. I remember faces of people smiling, crying. "   
  
Her voice changed, it was sad now. So sad that it touched his heart and almost made him want to weep. "I remember what crying felt like. Water running from your eyes, the cleaning and calming effect it had. I miss crying. Of all things that is what I miss the most."  
  
She fell silent. Yahiko didn't know what to do. He realized now that this woman had not always been blind. She had once seen all that this world had to show, she had lived a life full of colours and then it had been taken away from her. She had been forced to live in a world of darkness.  
  
He bowed his head. He had had no idea what he had said. "I am sorry." Plain and simple. He didn't know what more there was to say. Nothing he could say would make his previous words unsaid.  
  
Mei shook her head. She smiled a sad smile. "Do not worry about it. It happened years ago. I'll never stop missing seeing, but I have learned to accept it. I am just happy that I was able to see as much as I did. I have my memories and my dreams. You see, there I black becomes coloured. There everything is as it used to be."  
  
Her voice changed into pure steel. "But life goes on. Everything changes and the only way to move forward is to accept each and every change, good or bad. I have moved on, I accepted the loss of my sight. Can you? Can you accept the changes happening to you and around you?"  
  
Yahiko looked at Mei and somehow he felt like somehow she would be sharing her strength with him, making him stronger. And he knew. No matter what happened he would not give up, no matter how much would change, he would get over it. He would move forward.   
  
He nodded. "I can and I will." And the sound of his voice was different. It was deep and strong. He was no longer a child, he was a young man. An adult. Person who could take care of himself and those near him.  
  
And once again Yahiko found more respect for the woman before him. He knew now that no matter what would happen, even if she turned out to be Yaminobu, he would always respect her strength. During the short time they had known each other, she had already successfully taught him a lot.  
  
"Mei-san." he said. He knew what he wanted.  
  
"Yes?" she smiled.  
  
"Will you be my friend? Not only my teacher but also my friend." Yahiko held his breath. Mei tilted her head to the left and pursed her lips.   
Then she smiled again. "I thought we already were. Yes, I'll be your friend."  
  
Yahiko smiled. He knew that Mei couldn't see it, but he also knew that somehow she would know. *How can they even think that Mei-san is an enemy? No way!* His heart seemed full of respect. Had he really known this woman only for less than two days?  
  
"Now go. Take this tray down and get something to eat for yourself. Then come back and we'll continue training. There is very little time."  
  
Yahiko got the tray and walked outside, but not without a last glance at the woman sitting on the floor. Smiling a smile that spoke of such a strength to live that he couldn't even understand. He had never seen such a spirit as she had.  
  
*If she would smile like that for Shinomori and Okina, they would know not to doubt her. Would she show this side of her to them, they would know. They would know who she is.*  
  
Then he turned and walked out of her room to get something to eat. He knew that he would spend the rest of the evening sweating in the training room, but it didn't matter. She would be there, teaching him. She would be there sweating with him.   
  
They would both move forward in their lives.  
  
****************************************************************************************  
  
Aoshi walked in the corridor towards the training hall. One of the usual servants that helped them when they were busy had told him that she had seen the woman and Yahiko going there. He also knew that they had trained there before, in the morning. Now he wanted to see her in action.  
  
Takahashi Mei.  
  
Now that his first anger had dimmed he was back in the beginning. When he had seen her for the first time, sensed her ki for the first, something had changed in him. He had wanted to protect her. She had seemed weak and he had wanted to shelter her from the pain of the world. The last time he had felt that was when Misao was a child.  
  
When he had seen what she was capable to, his opinion of her had changed.  
  
The possibility that Takahashi Mei was an enemy was very clear. He had sent carrier pigeons to other members of Oniwabanshu, but not many had returned yet. And the ones that had, had held the same message. 'We have never heard of a woman with that name and description.' The fact that no one knew her didn't speak for her.   
  
He reached the hall pretty soon. The door was slightly open, but Shinomori Aoshi didn't peak in from it. He would not be caught eavesdropping like a little child. Instead he threw the door open.  
  
He saw how Yahiko collapsed to the floor in relief. He was red and sweaty. He looked like he would happy to lie down there forever. Any kind of disturbance and he was glad.  
  
Mei on the other hand turned to face him. Aoshi looked at her, noting the change in her clothes. In her hand she held her walking cane he had seen in her room. She didn't look as red or exhausted as Yahiko was. For some time the two of them just looked at each other and then Mei did the last thing he expected her to do. She placed the cane onto her side as if it had been a sword and bowed to him, deeply.   
  
Yahiko noticed this too. Aoshi looked how for a moment a look of surprise flashed on his face and then he started laughing. Mei and Aoshi both turned to his direction, but he just continued his exhausted laughter.   
  
"That is so like you, Mei-san." he finally managed to speak. "Showing him your respect even though he has done no such thing to you." Then Yahiko understood where he was and who was with them. He turned his eyes on Aoshi. Unlike Yahiko had thought, he didn't look angry. For a moment he thought that he had caught a glimpse of wondering in his eyes, but it had been over so soon that he wasn't sure if he had just imagined the whole thing.  
  
"Why should I not show? He is strong and I respect people with strength such as his. What does it matter if he doesn't show the same to me?" She shook her head. "You have got a lot to learn."  
  
"Now Shinomori-san." she turned to him. "What do I own this honour to?" She spoke peacefully and calmly, but a bit of her strength found itself a way to her voice. Aoshi noticed it too.  
  
"I am not here to challenge you again. I came to ask you how long are you going to continue. Omasu and Okon would like to clean this room." They truly had told him that. They hadn't asked him to anything about it, but now it became a good reason for him to be there.  
  
"They should have told us and we would have left. I am sorry if we bothered you in anyway. Come now, Yahiko-chan. This is enough for today." she nodded her head to Aoshi before walking out of the room. Yahiko followed her a bit more slowly. His whole body was aching, it was worst than before.   
  
But Yahiko had noticed something. Not once had Mei smiled. During their sparring she had smiled quite often, but the moment Aoshi had stepped inside of the room, her smiles had vanished.  
  
  
End of chapter 6.  
  
tbc  
  
Announcement!  
Author wants to say something!  
  
"If you are wondering how Yahiko can spot the similarities between Mei and Misao, then listen to me. If not, you can skip this.  
Aoshi and Okina are worried about the future of Oniwas, so they look at Mei from a different point of view than Yahiko. To them she is a threat. And besides they don't really spent so much time with Mei. Also, they are waiting for Misao to come back home. You know, the weasel girl. They don't consider the fact that she might have changed.  
Yahiko on the other hand spends more time with her and he is more open to changes, having to go through them himself. And he has got a clever mind, we all know that don't we.  
And like Yahiko said, would she show them her other side, they just might know..."  
  
"There. If you have questions, feel free to email me and ask. Or leave your question to reviews along with your email and I'll contact you. That's a promise. My email is on the author page."   
  
And please, review!  
  
~Tiian~ 


	7. Chapter 7: Talking and feeling

Disclaimer: RK is not mine. I don't want people to sue me just because I like to write.  
  
Author: Arrgh. How long is this going to become? Well, I guess I am stalling. Or were until this one. There is more action in this, particularly in the end. Yep, a lot happens in this and in the chapter 8. It's half ready.  
  
  
Chapter 7. Talking and feeling  
  
  
*It is already Thursday. Only few days left.* Misao rose and walked to the window. The morning sun warmed her and a gentle wind caressed her skin. For a moment she considered if she should remove her eye cover and allow the wind to touch the skin there. But the thought disappeared soon. Someone could see her eyes and she wasn't sure if they were ready to see them, or if she was ready to show them. Yoko and Keita were the only ones ever to have seen what was left of her eyes.  
  
Moving forward and accepting changes. She had told Yahiko that she had accepted the loss of her sight, which was the truth. What she hadn't told him was that there was something she hadn't really accepted. And that was losing herself.  
  
Because the day her eyes had been taken away from her, she had lost herself. She had lost something very important, something that had made her Misao.   
Her positive attitude towards everything.   
The one thing that had kept her going even if she was considered to be a child playing adult's games. Even if everyone thought that she was stupid and weak.  
No matter what happened it had always been the one thing that kept her going. She had drawn her strength from that attitude.  
But it was gone now. One of the elements that made her Misao was lost. And so was Misao.  
  
She knew that if she didn't learn to accept it, she wouldn't be able to move forward. She wouldn't be able to return here as Misao. She would continue living inside of the safe bubble she had created. Behind the mask of Takahashi Mei.  
  
She knew all of this, but she couldn't really do anything. She knew that she would never be able to get that attitude back, so she would have to replace it with something else. She had to learn to be happy again. Her life at Suzu was nice and she was satisfied, but not really happy.   
  
She hadn't been truly happy since that day and becoming happy was her goal now. If she could find a way, she would find herself. And then maybe she would be able to truly return here. To her old friends. And to Aoshi.  
  
No matter what had happened, she couldn't let go of her love for him. No matter what would happen, she would always love him. She remembered the doubt in everyone's eyes. They had never truly believed that she loved him and neither had he. But if it was so, then how come she missed him most of all. How come her heart ached every time he was near.  
  
Why couldn't she let go of him?  
  
And again Misao wanted to cry. She wanted to clean her soul, her spirit. But she wasn't allowed to. She felt the water gather itself, but it would never spill out. She would never cry again. *If only I could cry, I would be able to purify myself. Maybe then the memories would fade.* She shook her head. This was getting her nowhere. Pitying herself was something she hated about her new self. No matter how much she would mope, it would get her nowhere.  
  
She straightened. *Besides, there are things I am proud of in this new version of me. I can't return to the past, and so the only way to move to is forward.* She turned from the window. *No matter how much I hate to admit it, coming here was a good thing. It has forced me to take one step forward towards the person I want to be.*   
  
She walked out of her room. The way down was already familiar to her, but she took her cane with her anyways. *I refuse to hide in my room anymore.* She walked down the stairs. *I won't allow Shimabara to win over me. I am strong.*  
  
Misao straightened her head. *I refuse to be beaten by him. He may have taken my sight, but there is more to me than that.* She walked to the dining room. *I can't alter the past, but I can choose where I move in the future.*  
  
She stood in the doorway listening to people talking. Her hearing was indeed good, it had always been. Just like Aoshi had said when Himura had used Ryuu Mei Sen at the beach against Enishi. Every Oniwabanshu member had been trained to hear the faintest of sounds. Misao had been trained since she was a child. It had been one of the first things ever though to her. And now when she could not see, she relied heavily on hearing. That increased her hearing even further.  
  
In a battle taking her hearing away would be almost fatal. She would have to rely only on her ki and her sense of touch. That wasn't much.  
  
Misao sighed and a small smile found it's way to her lips. The little time she had spent here had really changed her. Yahiko had changed her. He had grown, but he had the same kind of spirit he used to have. She remembered how they had acted in the forest when she was taking Kaoru and Yahiko to Himura. How the fact that Himura would become stronger had made them act. They had both been so exited, like children with a new toy.  
  
Yahiko reminded her of who she had used to be. And with him she was a little bit closer to it. During the last five years, she had never smiled as many times as she had during these days that she had spent with him. Maybe he could help her to become Misao again...  
  
She shook her head. They had too little time and the risk that he would realize who she really was became greater every day. The more she opened to him, the more masks she shed, the closer she was to her old self. And she knew that Yahiko wasn't stupid, he might be able to see her for who she was. And if it wouldn't be him, it would be Aoshi.   
  
He had promised to keep an eye on her and she could only hope that he didn't watch her too closely. Because she didn't know what to do if he or someone else realized who she was. They would want to know what had happened, what she had done. And they would want to see her eyes. She didn't know what they looked like, but she had traced the scars often enough to know that they were everything but pretty. Yoko and Keita had never said anything about them, but they hadn't had to. She had known.  
  
Her thoughts broke when she felt a familiar ki. Her smile disappeared, because she knew that he would know who she was if she would smile to him. She had always had a special smile she had only shown to him. Some had said that when she smiled like that her eyes had shone. Well, that was impossible now.  
  
He came to stand beside her. For some time they just stood there, neither one of them moving. Then to Misao's surprise it was Aoshi who broke the silence and spoke. "I would like to talk with you."  
  
Misao just stood there quietly. An idea was forming in her head. She knew that she wouldn't be able to say no, so she would have to get the advantage over him. And she knew exactly how she would achieve that. She had to force a smile from her face before speaking.   
  
"You chose just the right time. I am hungry. Get me something to eat. Hmmm... I think that nigirisushi's, norimaki's and miso-soup would be just perfect. Bring them to my room." Then she turned and walked towards the stairs, leaving one confused man behind her.  
  
*Aaah. That felt good!* mischievous smile rose her slips. She hadn't felt this alive in a long time. She knew that making Aoshi annoyed got her nowhere, but it had been fun. She just couldn't suppress the smile on her face. It had been a long time that she had done something like this. Playing games like this had been her whole time job in the past and it still felt good. It felt refreshing.  
  
Giving orders Aoshi or making fun of him was something she had never done before. He had always seemed so distant after his return. When Misao had been little she had done few tricks to him now and then, but it had ended after he had left. And once he was back, Misao told him stupid stories and did everything to get one little smile. But now, since he didn't smile to her, she would smile at him. Now she was free to make fun of him. And there was a hard job.  
  
Misao smiled all the time, during her walk back to her room and in there until he arrived. With food.  
  
She knew that he would get it for her, just as she knew that he was not in a good mood. But hell with it. She knew that this conversation would be anything but pleasant for her. So if he was going to torture her, she had the right to return the favour.   
  
He came to her room without knocking and placed the tray on the floor. Misao could feel his eyes on her, but she just thanked politely and sat to eat. She knew that at this point Aoshi would feel rather uncomfortable, but it really didn't bother her. She was uncomfortable every time he was near her.  
  
Every time he talked to her, every time she could feel his eyes on her, her heart skipped a beat. Her whole body felt weird. It was hard to get air and her chest felt heavy. She wanted to be in his arms, she wanted to be protected. She wanted to feel his warmth surrounding her, wanted to be close to him. Always.   
  
******************  
  
Aoshi sat on the same pillow that Yahiko sat on when he was in her room and watched at the woman before him. She looked the same as always when he looked at her. Somehow she still managed to raise a protective instinct from inside of him. He wanted to take her in his arms and protect her. And that made suspecting her harder. The changes that she was a spy were high, but he just couldn't get rid of the feeling that she was somehow special.  
  
But he was the okashira of the Oniwabanshu now that Misao was gone and it was his duty to protect every member he could. From the enemy and possibly from her.  
  
Today when he had finally decided that he knew her well enough to speak with her politely, she pulled another stunt proving to him that he knew nothing. She asked- No, she ordered him to get her food. To his utmost surprise he had done exactly as she had said.  
  
He could still feel Okon's and Omasu's amazed eyes on him as he asked for food. For Mei. He had surprised them just as well as Mei had surprised him.   
  
He knew only one other person that could have been able to pull a stunt like that. Misao.  
  
When Misao had been a little, no one was safe. Not even him, the honourable okashira. She had surprised all of them all the time and kept them always alerted. She had pulled of mischiefs and survived untouched after every single one. Even the one she had done to him when she was four to him.  
  
Okon had given her some paint, a brush and paper. Then she had left the little girl alone in Aoshi's room. There was a big meeting coming up and Aoshi's clothes were hanging from the wall. The little girl had played with the paints for some time when she noticed his clothes. No one was watching her so she walked to the cloths with a pink paint in her brush. She had made a big flower to the back of his shirt and no one noticed it before it was too late. Aoshi had been in a hurry and had changed his cloths fast, not really paying any attention to them. The skirt was the last thing he put on when he was already at the door of the meeting room. He had never felt as humiliated as he felt then and there, when one of his older ninjas laughed and asked him if he liked flowers.  
  
He had intended on speaking to Misao about it and tell her never to do such a thing again, but the beauty and innocence of Misao's eyes had won over him. He had just told her that it was a beautiful flower.   
  
Aoshi looked at the woman before him again. She was sipping her soup. He looked at her lips. Misao had had beautiful lips and her smile had been breathtaking. This woman had lips that looked just like hers. If this woman smiled, would her smile be as beautiful as Misao's had been.   
  
The woman placed the cup back on the tray. She was finished. She raised her head. "So what did you want to talk to me about?" Her voice was firm. None of her feelings found their way to her voice.   
  
"I would like to ask few question." he kept his voice professional.  
  
Mei nodded him to continue.  
  
"How long are you going to stay?" he watched her carefully. Since he could not see her eyes, he would have recognized a lie in some other ways.  
  
"I'll leave next Sunday."   
  
She spoke calmly and surely. Nothing changed in her. As far as Aoshi could tell, she was speaking truthfully.   
  
"Why are you in Kyoto?"  
  
She cocked her head before answering. "I am looking for the love of my life."  
  
If there was an answer Aoshi was waiting to hear, this was not it. *She is looking for the love of her life? That can't be true.*  
  
"No, really. That was my friends' idea. She dragged me here saying that I should find a husband. She had business in town and she asked me to come and keep her company." she spoke with a little bit of amazement in her voice, but Aoshi couldn't tell what she was amazed about.  
  
"So where is your friend? I don't recall seeing her or him, unless it is Yahiko?" He place intentionally some wonder into his voice.  
  
"No, I guess Yahiko would be the love of my life." she sighed dreamingly and clapped her hands together.  
  
A bang of jealousy hit Aoshi, before he understood that she was playing a game with him. *But why...? Why am I jealous? Of her of all people? Why?* He had never really felt this kind of jealousy. This was new to him.  
  
"Himiko-san is the friend I was talking about. She has a sister here in Kyoto and she just got a child. Himiko-san is staying at her place with her husband and two little children. I live in the same village with Himiko-san and she wanted me to keep her company. She is the one that told me to stay in here, at the Aoiya. I'll go and see her next Saturday. I can assure you that I am no threat to you unlike you seem to think."  
  
She continued to speak, but Aoshi was more concentrated on his emotions than in her. *This kind of jealousy... I have never felt anything like this. Why does this woman keep raising such strange emotions in me. A wish to protect, jealousy. What is special about her?* He kept watching her sitting there peacefully, waiting for him to do or say something.  
  
*To get the information I want, I need to surprise her completely. And I can do that only by doing something that will be a surprise to me as well. Then she will be confused and she may tell us what we need to know to be sure about her. But what can I do...?*  
  
Mei just sat there waiting for him to do something. But he didn't know what he should do to surprise her and he didn't want to question her more at the moment. He could continue later. "This is it. Thank you for your patience."  
  
He would return later after he knew how to surprise her. He stood up and turned to walk away when he heard her voice. "Don't forget to take the tray with you."  
  
He turned to see her with a passive face. He could swear that she was making fun of him. That she was playing with like he would be her puppet. He would prove her wrong.  
  
But he still took the tray with him.   
  
*********************  
  
Misao sighed, it had not been as hard as she had thought it would be. But this proved to her that something was going on. Aoshi would never show this kind of attention to a visitor, even if he/she knew how to fight, unless he or others were in some kind of danger. There was something going on that she didn't know about and she didn't like it at all. It meant that she would get involved in it or she already was.  
  
She didn't want her friends to be in any sort of danger, because she didn't know would she be able to leave them to handle it on their own. And if she stayed, she would have to tell them whom she was. *Dammit!* She hit the floor, almost making a hole to the tatami.  
  
She rose to her feet and walked to the window, hoping to cool herself off. If someone threatened the others, it would explain why Aoshi was acting the way he was. Asking question, challenging her to a battle. *The okashira has returned.*  
  
But if he is suspecting that I may be a threat that means I can't ask anyone about anything or it will be used against me. *What a mess! Wait a second! I wonder, does Yahiko know?* That thought gave her some hope, but very little. He acted towards her just like always.  
  
Her ears caught sounds from the corridor and just as she recognized who it was, Yahiko walked in. Without knocking. He yawned and sat down as fast as he could. "Ohayoo." His voice was sleepy and he yawned again. Misao wondered if she should ask him what was going on. He might be spying on her for Aoshi. *Hell, I am just as suspicious as he is!*  
  
"Yahiko-chan. Can I ask you something?" *I guess this is the only way to find out about it.*  
  
Yahiko nodded and made an agreeing sound. "Sure." He almost fell asleep again.  
  
Misao took a deep breath, this was extremely risky. "What is going on? Something is bothering Shinomori Aoshi, the okashira of Oniwabanshu."  
  
That surely woke Yahiko up. He looked at Mei eyes wide. *She...She...* "How do you know about Oniwabanshu?" he blurted out.  
  
"Humph. I am not stupid. I have heard of them many times. I am a ninja. I don't belong to any ninja group, but sure as hell I do know a lot about them. Oniwabanshu and its okashira are pretty famous. Shinomori Aoshi who rose to the position of okashira in the age of 15 is someone every ninja should know and respect." her mouth was a thin line and Yahiko knew that she really didn't like telling him all this.  
  
"So you are not an Yaminobu-ninja?" Yahiko knew that asking this and speaking about this was risky, but he wanted to clear the air between them.  
  
"Yaminobu?" her voice sounded surprised. "No, I am not a Yaminobu nor have I ever been one."  
  
Yahiko sighed in relief. He knew that she could be lying, but the way she spoke assured to him that she had nothing to do with them. Also if she were a spy, she wouldn't have asked him anything this bluntly.  
  
"Why did you ask me that? Is there something going on between Yaminobu and Oniwabanshu?" her voice was cold. She knew of Yaminobu, naturally. And she also knew that they were not to be underestimated.  
  
Yahiko nodded, eager to tell her everything. Maybe she could help. "Hai, that's what Shinomori and Okina told me. They said that Yaminobus have declared a war to Oniwabanshu."  
  
"WHAT?" Mei sounded horrified, surprised and angry all the same time.  
  
"It's true. The war hasn't been started yet, but every Oniwabanshu member has been activated and weapon's have been cleaned from dust."  
  
Mei rose from her seat swearing heavily, and walked to the window. After closing it she returned to her seat. "That's insane."  
  
Yahiko nodded again. "I agree with you. And another thing. Shinomori thinks you're a Yaminobu spy."  
  
Mei didn't take is as angrily as Yahiko had thought, she just nodded. "If a war has been declared, every outsider is a possible enemy. And since I know how to fight, it's quite natural that they would think that I am the enemy."  
  
She sat still, thinking. But no matter how much she thought about it, it made no sense. "It is stupid. Why would the Yaminobu want a war?"  
  
Remembering the conversation he had had with Shinomori and Okina, Yahiko answered. "Maybe they wish to widen their territory."  
  
Mei shook her head. "They have had many better changes in the past. Starting a war now in Meiji, is stupid. It will draw the attention of the police, army and people. I would have understood if this had happened during Bakumatsu, but now... It's merely stupid. All attention will be on ninjas and our code is to stay in the shadows. Who could be stupid enough to do this?"  
  
Yahiko thought for a moment. He was sure that Shinomori and Okina had said a name. The new leader of Yaminobu... What was his name? They had told him so much that it was hard to remember one single name. *What was it? Shi-, Shibara? No, it was longer. It started with Shi- and ended with -bara, but what was between them. Shitabara, no. Shikabara, no. Wait a second! It was--*  
  
"Shimabara!"  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
'I told you that I would take that look of your face, of your eyes.'  
  
A shining knife...  
Numerous cuts...  
  
Shimabara.  
  
Incredible pain...  
Blood flowed everywhere...  
  
Shimabara.  
  
Everything was black and red...  
All black...  
  
Shimabara.  
  
The pain...  
The scars...  
  
Shimabara.  
  
'--of your face, of your eyes.'  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
"Don't ever say that name before me again!!" Mei screamed and drew a sharp and strange weapon from her kimono's sleeve. And placed it on Yahiko's throat.   
"NEVER again!! There is no other person, no other that I hate as much!   
NEVER SAY HIS NAME BEFORE ME!!"  
  
Yahiko was shocked at her reaction. Her weapon pierced the skin on his throat slightly and he could feel blood running from the little cut.   
  
"I won't. I promise I won't." he was afraid of this new person before him. He had never seen such anger in anyone.  
  
Mei took the weapon away and hid into her sleeve again. She was breathing heavily and she was pale. Her whole face had gone pale, including her lips.   
  
"Gomen nasai." it was a small whisper and Yahiko barely heard it. She seemed to be getting a hold of herself.  
  
"Mei...-san. Are you... alright?" Yahiko suppressed his desire to just run away from the room. This woman had helped him a lot, asking nothing in return. If he could help her, he would.  
  
She shook her head. "I am not all right, as you could see. I should be able to control my anger better." her voice was tired and empty. And a little bit sad. "I am very, very sorry. You took me by a surprise. I didn't think that you of all people would go and name that monster."  
  
Yahiko took a deep breath. Mei seemed to have calmed down, but he didn't want to tick her of again. "He is the new leader of Yaminobu. I heard his name from Shinomori and Okina." He almost packed of, fearing that she would explode again. But she did no such thing.  
  
She just spoke, her voice sad. "So the war has begun already years ago. And I am involved in it."  
  
"What do you mean 'years ago'? I thought that it was recently declared. That's the impression I got from Shinomori and Okina." Yahiko watched the woman before him carefully. She knew something others didn't. Obviously. At least her reaction proved that she was not working for him.  
  
Mei shook her head. "No. It begun five years ago. Shinomori and Okina just happened to hear about it now. That monster wasn't ready to face them yet then nor did he have Yaminobu's behind him. But now..."  
  
"How do you know this? If I may ask." Yahiko began to relax. Mei seemed calmer now and she was 'openly' speaking of him.  
  
She was silent for some time, thinking. Then she sighed. "This has gone far enough. I can't leave you without the information. It is time for me to move one more step forward."  
  
Taking a deep breath she started.   
  
  
End of chapter 7.  
TBC in chapter 8.  
  
Reviews please. Pretty please.  
  
~Tiian~ 


	8. Chapter 8: Welcome to my Nightmare

Disclaimer: RK is not mine. I don't want people to sue me just because I like to write.  
  
This is getting too long for my taste, but somehow I like writing this. It helps.   
This little chappie continues right from chapter 7 ending.  
  
And I made a little mistake. Yahiko is 17 already. I counted wrongly. I have corrected it from previous texts, but some I may have missed.  
  
  
Chapter 8. Welcome to my Nightmare  
  
  
"I was a very different person five years ago. I had to go through a lot of changes to become who I am now. And all of that started because of one man." Mei started telling. If Yahiko would figure out who she was, then he would. But now Mei needed to tell this to someone. Because of her and because of the danger Shimabara was.  
  
"I was walking in a forest when I was attacked. The men hid in the bushes and using poisonous blowing arrows they got me. I lost my consciousness quite soon and they caught me. When I woke up I was in some kind a room. There were candles giving light." she paused for a moment and Yahiko gasped.  
  
"If you know what it looked like in there, then..." he looked at her eyes wide.  
  
Mei nodded. "Yes, you are right. I could see five years ago. But let me continue. This is not easy for me so just listen."  
  
Yahiko nodded and Mei continued. "My hands and legs were tied and there were many men in the room. It was impossible to escape. The leader stepped fort. He claimed that some relative of mine had killed his brother. I doubt that. He just needed some excuse to do what he wanted. We spoke and he took a knife from the only table in the room. He said that he didn't like the way I stood up to him. His men took a hold of me and he sat on my stomach."  
  
Mei stopped for a while. Yahiko almost asked her if she wanted to stop, when she suddenly continued.  
  
"He said that he didn't like defiance that shone from my eyes and so... He took it away. With his knife he destroyed my eyes and made me blind." her voice was empty, unfeeling, cold.  
  
Yahiko looked at her horrified. *How can anyone...?* The mere thought was sickening. Nailing someone down, nailing _a woman_ down, and then cutting her...   
  
"If he hadn't been interrupted at that moment, I wouldn't be here now. I would be dead. But someone called out for him. Someone called his name." little bit of anger coloured her voice.  
  
Yahiko wasn't stupid. "You mean... The new leader of Yaminobu did that to you?"  
  
Mei nodded. "Yes, he blinded me. The only reason I survived was the fact that one of his men chose to leave him and help me. He took me out of there and gave me a new change to live. So you see, the first blood of an Oniwabanshu member was spilled already five years ago. That is when the war started. That bakemono must have been very disappointed when I escaped. Men must have lost their lives."  
  
"You are an oniwabanshu member? But Shinomori said that he was sure you weren't! And he's hardly ever wrong." So much, so much was happening that Yahiko couldn't exactly follow it all.  
  
Mei shook her head. "I am not anymore. I was five years ago, but I don't see myself as a real member anymore. The reason why Shinomori is sure that I am not a member, is partly because I have changed my name and partly because I look and act differently from before. Besides, I am no celebrity among them."  
  
Yahiko could only stare at Mei. All of this new information filled his head. How Mei had lost her eyes, how she was a member of Oniwabanshu, her change of name and being. Five years ago... A ninja. Every though swirled around his head.  
  
Mei stood up and walked to open the window. She leaned out from it, smelling the air. It wasn't as clean and pure as in Suzu, but it helped her to clean herself.  
  
"Why did you change your name?" Yahiko looked at Mei, who turned to him. This one fact stood out somehow. Mei answered surely. "To hide myself from that monster and... to hide myself from my friends. I can never return to live the life I had before I lost my sight."  
  
She walked from the window. "But that is of no importance. What I want you to do, is to tell this to Shinomori after I have left on Sunday. Maybe this will explain some things to him. Also, listen carefully. I'll tell you what that man looks like so that you'll know him if you see him. I don't know if Shinomori has seen him or not, but I want to give the little help I can to my former okashira."  
  
Yahiko's forehead wrinkled. "Why won't you tell this to him yourself?"  
  
Mei shook her head. "He will ask too many questions and I can not answer to him. I know things that are better left in secret. But now. This man is almost as tall as Shinomori. And before you have time to ask, yes I have seen Shinomori and I know what he looks like and just how tall he is."  
  
Mei smiled and Yahiko shrugged. He had been just about to ask her the very thing she thought he would.   
  
"He has got a black hair. It was very short when I saw him last time, but who knows what kind of hairstyle he has got now. It was dark in the room, so it was hard to say what colour his eyes were, but they seemed to be black also. But the thing about his eyes is that, when you look into them carefully, you'll see just what kind of man he is. He does not cover the darkness in him. He allows his sadistic nature to shine from his eyes. He is about 35 years old now, I would say." Mei sighed.   
  
Sitting down, she opened the eye cover. It was time. She didn't really want to show her eyes, or what was left of them, but it was the only way she could prove that she didn't lie. The cover fell to her hands and her hair flew to her face, covering the scars. Taking a deep breath she raised her head, so that her face was visible. She heard Yahiko gasp.  
  
*Kami-sama!* was all Yahiko could think. The scars covered her eye-area completely. From right to left, from left to right they swirled all over her eyes, her nose. There was nothing left of her eyes. No slashes, nothing. Yahiko couldn't even tell where her eyelid ended and her cheek started. All he could see were scars.  
  
"Not really very pretty, now are they. I remember how people always told me how beautiful eyes I had. Would they say the same now, I wonder." Well, she didn't really wonder. She knew. And Yahiko knew this.   
  
He had never expected to see something like this. He had thought that Shimabara had slashed once or twice, but this... This was insane. *No wonder why she hates him so much. It must have been awful. No being able to do anything, but lay there, while her eyes were destroyed.*  
  
"So this is why you never returned, huh?" Yahiko said. He was so sad. She had lost so much. How could she still move on? How?  
  
Mei just sat there a strange expression on her face. "What do you mean?" she said it carefully. Yahiko looked at her frowning. "You never returned to your friends, but hid yourself from them. And you also said that you are no longer a member of Oniwabanshu. This is why, isn't it."  
  
Yahiko couldn't explain it, but Mei seemed to relax a bit after he explained what he meant. As if she would have been waiting to hear something else. "Yes this is why." She took the cover and hid her eyes again. And no matter how much Yahiko hated it, it was a relief for him. Seeing her eyes so suddenly and realizing just how much it must have cost her was almost more than he could bear.  
  
But he knew something. Mei was his friend and Shimabara her enemy. He was also an enemy of Oniwabanshu and now he was also Yahiko's enemy. He would pay for what he had done to Mei! If no one else, he would take care of it. Then he got an idea.  
  
"Hey, Mei-san. Why don't you stay here and help your former allies? That way you can get your revenge on him. He'll attack sooner or later." It was perfect. She would get her revenge and in the mean time they could continue his training. He had just suddenly remembered that Mei had said that she would leave Sunday, which meant that they didn't have that much time. But this way they would both get what they wanted!  
  
To his surprise Mei just shook her head. "No." was all she said.  
  
Yahiko stared at her confused. "What 'no'?"  
  
"I have no desire to ever meet that man again. I'll stay out of this." her voice was sure. She knew what she wanted and he could hear it from her voice.  
  
But he couldn't understand it. "But don't you want to get revenge?"  
  
Mei shook her head. "No, I don't."  
  
"I don't understand. Why not? Think about what he did to you."  
  
Mei's voice flared. "That is exactly why! Nothing can change it! I am blind the rest of my life. If I kill him, it won't change a thing. I have still lost every thing that was important and dear to me! My family, my friends and most importantly myself! Killing him won't give them back to me. It won't make me happy."   
  
She shook her head furiously. "I never want to hear his voice again. I never want to be in the same place with him. I want nothing to do with him. I just want... time. Time to find myself again. I lost more that day that you can ever imagine."  
  
She stood up. "Now you go and eat something. After that we'll continue your training. We have got only less than four days, of which I'll spend one with my friend Himiko-san at her sister place. That means less than three days for practise." She pointed at the door.  
  
Yahiko stood up. "Hai!" And before he noticed it, he was already walking down the stairs. Her voice had been a voice of someone who was used to commanding people. "Where has she learned to speak like that?" he said out loud shaking his head.  
  
"Huh?" A female voice.  
  
Yahiko turned and saw Omasu looking at him strangely. He laughed a little, embarrassed. "Did you hear me?"  
  
Omasu nodded. In her hands she carried a basket full of clothes. *She must be coming from making laundry or she is going to make it.*  
  
"It was nothing. Forget it." Yahiko spoke hastily and changed a subject. "I am a little hungry. Do you have anything I could eat?"  
  
Omasu nodded, smiling kindly. "Just go to the kitchen they'll give you something." It was then that she noticed the cut on Yahiko's throat and the dry blood. "Yahiko, your neck.."  
  
Yahiko looked at her surprised and placed his hand on his throat. Now he remembered. Mei had cut him slightly in her anger. Little blood stick to his fingers. *Shit. How do I explain this to her without raising her suspicions?*  
  
"Ah, it's nothing. I must have cut it when I practiced sawing with a knife. The knife must have been sharper than I thought." he smiled to her, hoping that she would buy this explanation.  
  
Omasu nodded, but the look on her face was unbelieving. "I see." was all she said before smiling at him. Yahiko knew that she hadn't really believed him, but there was nothing he could do. Now before he would go to eat, he would have to clean the blood away and hope that no one else would notice it.  
  
Omasu watched his departure, concerned. She had no doubts that he was coming from Mei-san's room. And if she was indeed a Yaminobu, he was in a grave danger every time he was near her. But Okina had said that he had already made up his mind. She just hoped that he was safe.  
  
She knew that she had to tell about the cut to others and see what they thought about it.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Misao sighed. Her heart ached. Reliving all the horrors always left her pained and frustrated. Now she was also scared. Yahiko was close. She knew that sooner or later he would understand who she had once been. She didn't want him or anyone else to know what had became of her. She wanted to save them from the pain of knowing.  
  
She knew that the fact that she was 'missing' pained them, hurt them. But she knew that knowing what had happened to her, would hurt them probably even more. They would feel helpless, they would blame themselves...  
  
Misao wanted to spare them from that. Especially Aoshi. He blamed himself about every little bad thing so easily.  
  
Besides, she was indeed missing. Even after so many years, she was still missing. *I wonder, was Aoshi lost like I am now? After seeing others die... He lost his way, just like I have lost mine. I don't know where to go. I have no goal anymore. Well, no other than becoming happy. I never realized before, how hard it was to become happy. My nature was happiness, I was always happy about something. Even when Aoshi betrayed us, I was happy that Jiya survived. But now I can't even be happy that I am alive. There is no happiness left in me.*  
  
Misao stood up and started to change her clothes and took her weapons. *I miss seeing. I wish I could see Aoshi, Jiya, Yahiko... Everyone for the last time.*  
  
She straightened herself and tied her hair. *But wishing never solves anything. Actions are the ones that lead you forward, not wishes.*  
  
A small smile rose to her lips. "If I wouldn't be such a coward..." She laughed and shook her head. "Maybe I also need to be stricken down by Ama Kakeru Ryuu no Hirameki, maybe then I would be able view things differently."  
  
She walked to the door, her steps quiet. Taking the cane with her, she walked downstairs. Yahiko would probably be in the kitchen, since she had ordered him to eat something.   
  
She met Omasu in the corridor. She nodded to her and walked forward with her eyes on her back. Misao could feel that she was concerned about something and also that she was angry with her. She didn't understand what could have made angry. Concern she could understand since she was a possible enemy in her eyes, but not the anger in this form. *I wonder...*  
  
She walked down the stairs with the help of her cane. This time she missed his approach.  
  
"May I help you?" Aoshi's voice surprised Misao and she automatically turned, her cane raised. Ready to attack him when she realized just who it was. She lowered her cane and sighed. "I am sorry. You surprised me."  
  
He had asked the very same question once earlier. That time she had accepted his help. Now she didn't need it, didn't want it. "Thank you for the offer, but I think that I'll manage." she almost smiled, but at the last moment stopped herself.  
  
Aoshi nodded. "As you wish." Then he walked past her. She inhaled his scent deeply. She missed him so much. His scent surrounded her for a moment and for that short second, she allowed herself to think that nothing had changed.  
  
But reality came back with a rush. Nothing was the same.   
  
*********************************  
  
Aoshi had met Omasu who had worriedly told him about the cut on Yahiko's throat. He had intended on questioning Mei about it, but when he had seen her walking down the stairs slowly and in such a hard way, he had felt the same urge to protect her that had bothered him for some time now.  
  
And so instead of questioning her, he had offered her his help. He had been surprised that she hadn't felt him and almost attacked him. She had apologized, true. For a moment he thought that she was about to smile, before she had gotten a hold of herself.  
  
He had wanted to see her smile. She had never smiled when he was close.   
  
Something about her bothered him. The more he saw her, spoke to her or was near her, the more familiar she felt. He couldn't explain it. He had never seen her before, he was quite sure of that, so why did she feel so familiar.  
  
Exactly who was Takahashi Mei? And why did she feel so very familiar, as if he would have known her, been close to her sometime in the past?  
  
Shinomori Aoshi frowned. He would find answers before she left.  
  
  
  
End of chapter 8.  
TBC in chapter 9.  
  
Author:  
  
The names in the previous chapters I have thought up myself, but the title of this one, is a name of one RK song. Some of you may know it.  
It just seemed to fit Misao's situation. Well, it's not a complete nightmare, but close to.  
  
  
~Tiian~ 


	9. Chapter 9: Misplaced thoughts

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Rurouni Kenshin. How many times do I have to say this?  
  
  
Author: It is Friday. Oh my. I have written so much... Can't believe it.  
  
  
Chapter 9. Misplaced thoughts  
  
  
Yahiko groaned. The sun woke him up. His window was open and so the whole room bathed in sunlight. He drew his blanket higher up, trying to escape the light. He didn't want to wake up yet. When he was asleep, he didn't feel the pain. The training had been harder than ever yesterday. His every single muscle was aching and he was all black and blue.  
  
She had been more serious than before and increased the strength she used. He had learned to fear her cane. Well, his dodging skills had gotten better. He had done almost anything to avoid being hit. She had laughed at him many times. Not because he was pathetic, but because he was afraid to attack her. So much her cane hurt when she countered.  
  
He had been able to hit her couple of times, but she hadn't even flinched. Not even when the tip of his shinai hit her nose so that it bled. She had only whipped the blood away and continued. He had surely paid for those few hits. But he was getting better.   
  
The speed of his improvement wasn't so high anymore, but he did improve all the time. And if beatings like these were the prise, he was ready to pay it.  
  
Training with Kaoru had never been this intense. When he had mentioned this to Mei, she had smiled and said that the fact that it hadn't been was good. Patience had to be learned first. And if Kaoru started with training like this, soon she would have lost all of her students. Especially since she was a woman. Being beaten by a woman was not something men wanted, it hurt their pride.  
  
Yahiko could understand this. At the beginning he had wanted Kenshin to teach him and when he had told him that Kaoru would be his teacher, he had been disappointed. What could a woman teach him?  
  
A lot. Kaoru had taught him Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu. And now another woman taught him to use it. He would never underestimate women again. They were strong. They may not be able to possess the same level of physical strength that men did, but they had their supple strength that shouldn't be forgotten. Mei sure had proven that to him. When he had attacked her yesterday, she had almost always managed to avoid his strike. She had moved to positions he had thought to be impossible. He could hardly believe how her body could be so... flexible. That sure as hell had distracted him. Hey, he was just a man! And Mei was... Well, a woman with a bendy, sexy body.  
  
Yahiko sat up. He knew he couldn't avoid it forever, no matter how much he hoped. His every muscle was tender and he knew that he just couldn't train today. No matter how little time they had, he just couldn't force himself to continue. For the love of God, he could hardly get up!   
  
Gathering all of his strength and biting his lower lip, Yahiko stood up. Every single movement, every single step and he wanted to yell at the pain. He was also very hungry. After their training he had been too tired and too pained to go to get something to eat, but now his stomach made such a noise he could not ignore and so he headed to the kitchen.  
  
The stairs were the hardest, but somehow he managed to survive. He had only taken few steps when he saw Mei. His eyes widened, Mei hardly every left her room and there she was walking to the kitchen.  
  
"Mei-san." he hadn't spoken it very loudly and was just about to repeat it when he saw her turn to him. 'Since I can't see, I have to get the knowledge of the surrounding world in other ways. I smell things and hear better that normal people,---' He should have remembered.  
  
"Ah, Yahiko-chan, up already?" she smiled to him and walked to him.   
  
*Already? It is a freaking noon. It's late. Can't she see that? ...Of course she can't. She can't see a thing.* Again he felt pain, this time in his heart, for her. He didn't pity her, would he have done that, she would have kicked his already aching ass. He just felt sad. But then he looked at her again.   
  
He looked at her smile and somehow he just couldn't stay sad. Instead he found himself smiling back. "It is not that early anymore, Mei-san. I would guess that it is already noon."  
  
Her smile widened. "Yes, it is. I know. But I didn't expect you to be up till dinnertime. You took quite a beating yesterday, Yahiko-chan."   
  
Yahiko could almost swear that only hearing her gentle voice soothed his aching muscles. As if it would be salve to help anyone who listened to her. He walked past her, slowly. She turned and walked beside him "You must be hungry, ne. You didn't eat anything after dinner and you missed the breakfast."  
  
Again Mei surprised him. She sounded different. Sometimes she was like a caged animal, occasionally she sounded like a wild wind blowing trough forests. And then there were times like this when she sounded like a woman. Gently and caring. Young but very wise. A wife and a mother.  
  
That thought stopped him for a moment before he continued walking. Was Mei married? He didn't know. He didn't really know that much of her past, her relatives. She had said that she had left one family behind her. Had she found a new one? He also understood now that he didn't even know why she was in Kyoto. He turned his eyes to her.  
  
She was wearing a dark blue kimono and tied to her waist was black obi. Her black hair was open and it reached her shoulders. The cover that run over her eyes was also black, like her obi. Her mouth was closed, the previous smile had disappeared. She had a strong nose, he could see that even though half of it was under her cover. He had wondered about it before, but he didn't anymore. After seeing what was hidden, he had understood. She used that cover to protect herself and those around her.   
  
They reached the kitchen and Yahiko's thoughts were interrupted as the smells reaching his nose caused his stomach to rumple. He was hungry, no way around it. He was still growing young man. A man... Yes he was already a man. Young one maybe but still. He was 17 years old. As old as Misao had been when she had left for her journey.  
  
Misao had never told anyone where she had went, just promised that she would come back as a stronger person. But till this day, she hadn't returned. The last message they had received was half a year after she had left, 5½ years ago. She had said that she wasn't ready to return yet, but she would be soon. After that they had heard nothing. Yahiko knew that she had been searched, probably every member of oniwabanshu still kept their eyes open in case that she might show up. Since nothing had been heard, they presumed that she had went abroad. But Yahiko disagreed. Everyone just hoped that she would come back, never voicing the possibility that she maybe couldn't. She could be... dead.  
  
*No! I refuse to believe that! But that means that I am just like everyone else. Like them, I don't have the strength to face the possibility.* He looked at Mei and his eyes widened. For a moment he had seen a long braid swinging over her shoulder as she turned to him. Then it was gone. He shook his head. *I am starting to see things.*  
  
"Yahiko-chan. Is something the matter?" She sounded concerned. Yahiko just shook her head.   
  
"No, everything is fine." And he smiled to Mei. He opened the door to the kitchen.  
  
Kuro and Shiro were chopping vegetables and Omasu was cooking. Okon or the helps that had been present earlier were nowhere to be seen. All three of them looked at the pair and stopped their work. More preciously, they stared at Mei. Yahiko almost wanted to scream at them that she was on their side, but managed to hold it down. He had promised to Mei to tell them _after_ she had left, not before. So no matter how much he hated it, he would wait. He would watch by as they mocked her with their eyes.  
  
He clanged quickly at her, but she just stood there, silently. Her mouth was a tight line and when she walked her steps were small. She talked her voice uncaring and unfeeling, but the way she stood almost seemed to challenge them. "We would like to have something to eat."  
  
For a moment everything was still and silent, then Omasu moved triggering Kuro and Shiro who returned to the vegetables. "Go to the dining room. I'll bring you food there." Then she also continued preparing food. The room fell silent. He saw Mei bow before he exited the room.  
  
"Kami-sama. That tension could have been cut with a knife. They sure are suspicious of you. I mean the way the stared at you, man." Yahiko shook his head.  
  
She nodded. "I felt it too. They were willing to fight me there and then." Somehow she seemed sad. Maybe it was her mouth or the air around her, but he sensed that she was indeed sad.  
  
He didn't really know what he was doing, what he tried to achieve, but he just wanted to help her if it was possible. So he turned to her and embraced her.  
  
She was warm. Shorter than he was and she smelled like fresh outside air. He could feel her stiffening at his touch before after a moment of hesitation she relaxed in his embrace and hugged him back. Yahiko was glad. For a short moment he was able to give her something in return for all of her help.   
  
"Arigatou..." Yahiko could hardly hear her voice even though her mouth was close to his right ear. She rose to her toes and gave him a little kiss on his cheek before pulling herself away from him. Automatically Yahiko's left hand rose and touched the same spot she had kissed.  
  
He looked at her a little plush covering his face. She was smiling, happily. "No one has hugged me in a long time. I had already forgotten what it felt like. Thank you for reminding me." He could almost swear that she had a small plush covering her cheeks also. He smiled. To see her like this was rare.  
  
Somehow she had changed during the time he had spent here. At the beginning she had been unruffled, unchanging and she had hardly ever smiled. But now she smiled more and somehow she seemed... Happier. Even though her former allies all looked at her like she was their worst enemy, she seemed happy. There was almost always a little bit of sadness in her, but just a moment ago it had been gone for a moment.  
  
She turned and walked towards the end of the corridor, to the dining room. Yahiko followed her, just now remembering that his muscles were not okay. Every step seemed harder and harder to take. He had really almost forgotten that he was hurting all over, but now it all returned.  
  
He was more than happy to sit down at the table Mei had chosen. He corrected his thought immediately with a groan. Even sitting hurt. He clanged at Mei and noticed that she was smiling at him. "Don't worry. I won't put you through a lot today or tomorrow. Well, today I can promise, but tomorrow..."  
  
She cocked her head, causing Yahiko to wonder what she was thinking. *What about tomorrow?* Then she smiled like a sun and he was blinded by the sight. Also a disturbing thought crossed his head. *I have seen that smile somewhere before...*  
  
"Would you like to come with me to visit Sasha-san? You would also meet my friend Himiko-san and her husband and kids."  
  
Her question surprised him. After she had told him that she would visit Sasha, he had expected that day to be the first day he didn't see her, but now she was offering him a change to get to know her friends. He smiled. "Of course I'll come if it is all right with them."  
  
"I am sure it is. I'll just say that you're the love of my life." she laughed.  
  
It took a moment before Yahiko understood just exactly what she had said. He blushed and went speechless. "Umm..."  
  
Mei didn't seem to notice his discomfort. "Himiko-san dragged me here because she wanted company and because she thinks that I need to find a husband. She is happily married and mother of two wonderful kids, so she naturally wants me to be as happy as she is. That's the problem with all happily married women, they want everyone to be happy and presume that happiness is same with everyone. But it isn't." She sighed.  
  
They both remained silent even when Omasu brought them food. She looked at them strangely before leaving them alone again. They ate in silence, both deep in their own thoughts.  
  
*Happiness isn't the same with everyone. True. So Mei-san, where does you happiness come from or where has it gone? When I look at you I hardly ever see you looking happy. Of course it is hard to tell because your eyes... Gods, how can anyone do something like that? And for what reason? Did your happiness disappear then? Did you lose your happiness with your eyes?*  
' I lost more that day that you can ever imagine. ' Her angry words played themselves over and over through his head.  
  
He ate all of the food quickly and then he looked at Mei. She wasn't eating anymore, but she had food left. She was just sitting there, her hands resting in her lap.   
  
"I am finished." somehow it seemed strange to break the silence. Mei only nodded before standing up. Yahiko also stood up swearing his sore muscles to the hell. He walked after Mei up the stairs and he also almost followed her to her room.  
  
A strange smile appeared on Mei's lips. "Are you going to watch as I change?" She sounded amused. Yahiko blushed furiously. "N-No. Of course not." He turned and walked to his room. He could swear that he heard her giggle. But giggling wasn't very fitting for Mei so he must have heard wrong.  
  
  
************************  
  
  
Misao shook her head as she opened her obi and dropped it to the floor. Things were getting dangerous. They were getting too close. *If he realizes who I am...* She took of her cover and fell to her knees. Her hands rose to the scars. *He has seen them.* The skin was smooth around the scars. *I don't know what to do.*  
  
Her hands dropped away from them and she rose up. She stripped the kimono of and took her fighting clothes from her bag. *Why did I take them with me? And more importantly, why did I take _these_ with me?* She took her old oniwabanshu uniform out of the bag. Blue, yellow and pink. She couldn't see the colours but she remembered them. She missed the time she had wore this uniform. But then again she had been wearing it when her eyes had been--removed. After that day she hadn't wore this not once. She didn't have the right to.  
  
She pressed the clothing to her chest. It was her last link to oniwabanshu. And she would cut that link. She would leave it here. She stuffed it back to the bag and started to cloth herself with the ones Yoko had made for her. She also took her weapons with her. It was time for her to train also.   
  
Yahiko was so beaten that she knew that he wouldn't be able to continue sparring for some time and so they would only hone their techniques. She also needed to do so in case that yaminobus would attack while she was still here. It had been sometime since she had seriously trained for a combat. It was time to get used to a weapon again.  
  
She was ready. She had tied her hair, but like always, few strands framed her face. They weren't long enough to be tied back. She didn't miss her long hair. It had been impractical and always in her way. Also it had presented her past and somehow cutting it away had been like cutting herself free from the past. It didn't really work that way, but what the heck.  
  
She heard a shy knock from the door and smiled. "Not charging in? That's new, Yahiko-chan." she walked to the door and smiled to him. "I am ready, let's go."  
  
"Where?" he asked even though he was quite sure about the answer anyway.  
  
She smiled to him. "To the training hall, of course."   
  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
  
She took her battle stance and almost as fast as Aoshi she launched her attack. Speed and supple strength were on her side. She had speeded up from the past remarkably.   
  
Her weapon cut the air and a kick followed it. Then a jump back to avoid possible attack from her shadow-enemy. She opened her fan and run forward. Suddenly without any warning she cut the air with it. The sharp spikes in the half-moon shaped end would slice and dice an enemy easily. A somersault. She was kneeling on the floor. She could feel Yahiko's eyes on her as she stood up and flipped her fan closed.  
  
She hid the fans into her sleeves, Yoko had made a special place for them. She run forward towards the wall. She hoped that she remembered the size of the room correctly. The little sounds her feet made when they touched the floor wouldn't be enough--  
  
Now, the wall!   
  
Little jump and she continued running up the wall and then gathering her strength and jumped to attack. Her fans suddenly in her hands the suns light reflecting from them, she attacked air and prepared herself for the landing. The floor was hard and her left ankle yelled at her that it hadn't yet completely healed. She stood up. No sweat glittered on her skin. She had done nothing yet.  
  
Yahiko watched her eyes as wide. She was better than he had thought. How could she run up the wall? She was blind for Gods sake!   
  
Misao breathed steadily in and out. She was still in a good shape. Training would be easier if she had someone as her pair. Yahiko's style and weapon didn't fit and she would _not_ ask Aoshi to spar with her. He had taught her with Hannya how to fight, he knew her style better anyone. It had changed a lot, but some moves he would be bound to recognize. Also would she use the shurikens hidden in her belt...  
  
It would be the end of her hiding.  
  
"So, when are you going to start, Yahiko-chan? Or are you just going to keep on staring at me? That ain't gonna help you to become stronger." she smiled at him and heard as he started to go through his kata. Her smile disappeared.  
  
She wouldn't be able to help him with it. She sighed and started to go through her stretching exercises. They were very important to her. She had to replace the lack of strength with something else.   
  
After finishing she practised her kenpo. It was a very handy weapon. In the heat of the battle one could lose a weapon or it might break, but as long as one could stand, kenpo was useful. She hit and kicked the air with ease. Her body was a fine-tuned weapon. Every move was like an automatic reflex to counter or to attack. Well, all this was a result of four years of hard training added to the training she had before. She wasn't to be underestimated.   
  
A cruel smile rose to her lips. This was something she liked in her new self. She was strong, way stronger than before. She would be able to challenge Aoshi, maybe even Himura. Her smile widened. She would be able to really fight them, maybe not win but fight and probably hurt. She almost laughed. *And all this just because I happened to become blind.*  
  
She took her fan and opened it. A fine piece of art. Well balanced, not too heavy or big, it was made for her. It was quick to use when you knew how to use it. Otherwise... Well, she remembered her first tries at it.  
  
She closed her fan and opened it again. Practising this was way too important to be ignored. She had to be able to use them in every situation possible. And if her luck had turned sour, she would need this before she left. Had she known about this ridiculous war, she never would have left Suzu. She would have tied herself in a tree or got intentionally sick.  
  
But here she was. In the training hall honing her skills. Was there no ending to the violence? She had had her share. She liked martial arts and fighting, but she didn't like wars where people killed each others just because of orders. She hated it and she hated people like Shimabara. They enjoyed killing and causing pain.   
  
For some time she had thought of nothing but revenge. Then she had realized that it would change nothing. One good thing would come out of all this. If the war really started, she knew that Shimabara would die. And then no one would have to suffer by his hand like she had.  
  
Misao sat down and listened to Yahiko's steps. He moved in a rhythm of the arts. He was good, very good indeed. He had a quick head and body. She had had troubles with him. She was not as superior as he thought. Well, a weapon like her cane wasn't really fit for her, but using her fans would make the fight unbalanced. And she might actually hurt him or break his shinai. She didn't wish for that to happen.  
  
She was teaching him, but at the same time learning from him. He was still very much like he had been before. Of course he had matured, but he hadn't lost himself into all of the changes. Misao smiled. Maybe she would be able to find herself again. It would be nice to return here. She missed everyone so much. Okon, Omasu, Kuro, Shiro, Jiya, Aoshi and of course all her friends from Tokyo. Himura, Kaoru, Sano, Megumi... And Yahiko.  
  
She wanted to tell him who she was, but again she remembered why not. Until she was Misao again, no one was to know who was Takahashi Mei. Until she had regained her happiness she would stay in shadows like a ninja she was.  
  
They spent three and half-hours there. Both of them practising their katas and moves, before returning to their rooms. Misao went to ask for a bath and Yahiko went to sleep. He was tired, but he felt better. His muscles were better now.  
  
Just before he went to sleep for some unknown reason he thought of Misao. He had been thinking of her more and more every day. *Well, I am in Kyoto. I got to know her here so I guess it's only natural. I hope she returns soon. We all miss her.*   
  
  
  
End of chapter 9.  
TBC in chapter 10. 


	10. Chapter 10: I am alive

Disclaimer: I don't own RK.   
  
Author: It is Saturday (in the fic).   
This chapter has caused me some serious troubles. Hopefully the rest will be easier to write. Edo is the old name of Tokyo.  
  
Chapter 10. I am alive  
  
  
Misao slept. A small content smile brightened her face.   
  
Nothing had changed. The sky was blue; no white clouds were there to be seen. The sun shone brightly and the morning dew glimmered. The ground was filled with green grass and flowers of all colours of the rainbow. She danced around them. She could see others also.  
  
Himura and Kaoru were talking on her left. Both of them looking very happy. Sano and Megumi were approaching from behind her. Omasu, Okon, Shiro and Kuro were waving at her from afar. Aoshi was meditating on a big rock and Okina was taking care of the flowers.   
  
Yahiko was there too. Nothing had changed about him. He looked just the same. Misao frowned. But he was 17 already. He should have grown.  
  
Suddenly everything turned black. She still heard all of them, but she couldn't see them anymore. "What-?" she spoke and the echo brought her words back. 'What, what, what...'  
  
She tried to touch her eyes, but she didn't find them. She didn't have eyes. She screamed--  
  
And woke up breathing heavily. The change was meaningless. It still was all black and she still didn't have eyes.  
  
Misao sat up trying to calm herself. Dreams such as that were never far away and she should have gotten used to them, but she hadn't. Every time she saw a dream such as this, she woke up practically screaming. They never went away, at least not until she would no longer remember that she had sometime in the past seen things and people.  
  
She sighed. It was Saturday. She would leave tomorrow and go back to her life in Suzu. Back to content but not happy. Here she was not content, but strangely in here her life was more interesting. Hiding from everyone, having to watch out all the time...  
  
All this time after her little meeting with Shimabara she had been searching for a safe place, but maybe the place or the thing she should have been searching for was not safety. After being hurt badly she had wanted to hide from everyone. Never wanting to be hurt again. She had found that from Suzu. It was a quiet and kind village where people were happy in their normal lives. Nothing exciting happened there. People were generous and helpful. She had thought herself to be lucky to have found such a place where no one intentionally hurt anyone. Everything moved forward quietly and nothing changed.  
  
But...  
  
She had been a wild thing from the birth and staying still in one place longer than five minutes had been too much for her. That's why she had never understood meditating. She just couldn't sit still long enough. She had learned that skill painfully and meditating had become daily.  
  
But something was wrong.  
  
She had it felt soon after moving to Suzu, but until this day she had ignore it. She had wanted to play with children, get to know the forests and every road. She had mentioned this to Himiko-san briefly and she had been horrified. She had said it was okay, but that she should take someone with her. Misao's desire had disappeared immediately. Somehow it had been... suffocating living in Suzu. Here she felt once again free.   
  
Maybe the life she was living now wasn't meant for the kinds of her, for her.  
  
*Maybe... I think I just found an answer.* she smiled. *Maybe I can find my happiness, my tomorrow again. Not like I have tried till this day and by hiding, but little by little from other people and by moving around. I think that's my way to tomorrow. Searching by moving around.*   
  
She stood up and for the first time in five years she knew what road she would move to. She had been standing in an intersection for five years and now she finally knew which direction she wanted to walk to. It had been right before her eyes all this time but it had taken a trip to Kyoto and Yahiko for her to realize it.  
  
She owed a lot to him for that. It was partly because of him that she had realized what road to take. She would have to repay that to him somehow in the future.  
  
She dressed herself quickly. Somehow she felt full of energy, something she hadn't felt in years. In five to be correct. She wanted to jump, laugh, dance and clap her hands in delight. A little bit of Misao had been revived. Now she was glad that she had agreed to come to Kyoto.  
  
She had still a lot to learn and to live to regain her happiness. It wouldn't come back with a snap of fingers. It would take time, but that was something she had. Tomorrow she would leave for a quest to find herself, she had nothing holding her back. She didn't have much money, but she didn't need more.   
  
But tomorrow was tomorrow and today was now.  
  
She exited her room and walked to Yahiko's. After knocking she barged in. "Wake up, slacker. It is morning already." Then before he had a change to say anything she left his room and headed downstairs. She was feeling good and that was a lot more than usually. No one would be able to ruin her good mood.  
  
"Mei." A deep voice that sent shivers down her spine.  
  
Hell, she would not allow him of all people ruin it. She turned to the voice with a ghostly-like little smile on her face. "Shinomori-san. How may I help you?"  
  
"Do you have a moment?" He walked a little closer. He wasn't far from her and she almost felt his warmth on her skin. Her knees felt weaker and she wanted to just fall over to his arms.  
  
"I am sorry, but I am very busy today. Can it wait to tomorrow?" Her voice was polite and revealed nothing of her inner feelings, which had been freed during her earlier musings. She was free to feel again. She didn't shut away feelings just to avoid being hurt anymore. Which unfortunately meant that she was way more sensitive to Aoshi.   
  
Now the man from her thoughts just stood there and she could feel his eyes on her. It had been a long time since she had been this alive. It felt good. Being alive felt good.  
  
"Alright." His voice caressed her senses and when he moved past her she felt faint. She had forgotten that her feelings were this strong. She would have to do something about it. If she always reacted this strongly around him... That may lead to embarrassing situations. *Well, I'll leave tomorrow. I can enjoy this that long time.* She walked to the kitchen and told them that she would go to dining room and that she was hungry. "Also, Yahiko-chan will come soon. Make something for him too, ne."  
  
She went to the dining room and sat to a free table. It was easy to move around there. Everything was like she remembered it to be. She would leave all of this familiarity behind her again when she left, but it didn't matter. Because after she was done, she would come back. For real then. After that, she would not leave again.  
  
She heard someone approaching. The ki she sensed told her that it was Shiro. Hopefully he had food with him because she was very hungry. Soon she smelled the sweet scent of food. He came and placed the tray on the table. "Here you go. Enjoy your meal."  
  
She smiled at him. He was polite even though he didn't even know if she was a friend or an enemy. "Arigatou gozaimasu. I am sure I'll like it. You make such a good food here."  
  
Misao could almost sense his wondering. He stood there for a moment before returning to the kitchen. Misao took the chopsticks and dug in. It was good as always. Even though she was a possible enemy she still got good food. She was glad about that. Having to eat only beans or something wouldn't really be pleasant.   
  
Misao liked eating, tasting and smelling the food. Her every sense was better than before and so also eating had become a way to know the world. She hadn't really thought of it in the past, but along with so many things also that had changed when she had lost her eyes.  
  
She heard someone coming. This time it was Yahiko. He had his food with him and he sat onto the same table with Misao. "Thanks for the rude waking." He sounded half asleep.  
  
She smiled. She really liked him. "No need to thank me Yahiko-chan."  
  
"You know, that doesn't make me angry anymore." He told her sleepily and yawned.  
  
She nodded. "Good. Then one of your weak points has been won." She smiled at him and continued eating.   
  
Yahiko stopped eating for a moment to think about what she had said and continued then. He wasn't awake enough to think clearly. He had slept ten hours and he was still half asleep and tired. He had somehow known that they would not leave late in the afternoon, but at the morning. He had been right. Today had been the first time she had been the one to barge into a room. Well, he didn't have to worry about her having seen anything.  
  
A bang of quilt with that thought. He shouldn't think like that.  
  
Misao finished her meal soon and stood up. Yahiko was still eating, she could hear his sticks hitting the bowl as he picked more food. "I'll be waiting in my room. Come there after you have finished. We'll leave then." She turned and could hear him mumble his 'yes'.   
  
She walked calmly all the way to her room. Some people who she did not know by ki walked by her but she hardly noticed them. They didn't pose any threat to her nor were they important to her. To her they were just hired help and to them she was just another customer unless they were former or present members of Oniwabanshu. Then they would see her as an enemy. An enemy in her own home. It hadn't really bothered her before but now that she knew again who she was, it was a little annoying. She didn't want them to think that she would hurt them.  
  
All because of Shimabara once again.  
  
Shimabara had hurt her in more ways than one. He had taken away her eyes. It had been physical pain. During the time her sliced her skin and during the time the wounds had healed. It had been awfully painful and she had been helpless, but she had endured. She had survived. The pain from the wounds was gone, only scars were left.  
  
But he had also hurt her psyche and shaken her self. She had been defiant and he had taken that away, not with a knife but with his words and with the help of the situation. She had been held captive and she had been unable to do anything. Those two had been the things that had dulled her fire.   
  
Now she had to get that fire burning brightly again. Then she would be able to regain her defiance and she would return to the person she used to be. Well, not exactly. Too many things had changed, she had grown up and endured more than many and those things had changed her too much for her to ever wholly become Misao they knew. But she would become a person she wanted to become. That she swore to herself and to Yahiko and to her other friends.  
  
She smiled and opened the door to her room. She was already inside when she noticed that this was not the room she had stayed in these last days. This was her own room, the room she had lived in for so many years. She had been almost five when Aoshi and others had moved there and she along with them. Okina and others had been strangers to her at the time and she had always been with Aoshi or Hannya. Or if they were both out, she was with Beshimi who played games with her, or with Hyottoko who blew fire for her and kept her entertained, or with Shikijou who took her all around the town and carried her on his shoulder, threw her in the air and told stories.  
  
Little by little she had learned to know Okina and others better also, but they didn't really become her friends before Aoshi left with others. Then they had been all she had had. Okina had become jiya for her and others were almost like brothers and sisters. But still she missed the friends she had lost.  
  
This room had been hers since then. She could remember everything. The drawer with a mirror on one wall, futon right next to it. Window like in her present room, tatamis as the floor. She stepped two steps inside before she understood what she was doing. If she were sighted here, she would be in sooo much trouble. They would become even more suspicious. It was a good thing that she would leave tomorrow. She was anxious to leave and anxious to return.  
  
She turned around and left the room. She was lucky, no one saw her. She didn't want to start explaining again. She walked calmly to the room she had intended to go into. She hoped that Yahiko would come soon. She wanted to leave already. She paced around the room, unable to just sit down. Meditating would be impossible. She needed action.  
  
She walked around the room waiting anxiously for Yahiko. She wanted to leave already. The time it took from Yahiko to eat and then come to her felt like an eternity. Backing her few things had taken only few minutes.  
  
"At last!" She yelled at him when he finally appeared to her door. Since she couldn't see, she missed Yahiko's surprised look when she took a hold of his arm and pulled him to the stairs and down them.  
  
"Hey! What's the hurry?" She could hear Yahiko loud and clear. He seemed to wonder something but Misao paid no attention to it. She wanted out. She ignored Yahiko's words and the strange looks she knew she was getting as she dragged him with her. For the first time in a long time she just didn't care what others thought. Why should she?  
  
It wasn't until they were out of Aoiya that she released him. She stopped there at the stairs. The wind caressed her face and it felt good. All kind of smells from the street invaded her nose and sounds her ears. She was more aware of everything now and it felt good. She took her cane from her waist and with its help she stepped down onto the street. A smile brightened her face and it shone like a sun, which was hidden behind a curtain of clouds on the sky.   
  
"Hey, Mei-san."   
  
She turned to Yahiko still smiling. "Yes?"   
  
"Are we in a hurry or something?" He also walked the stairs and stopped at her side. Misao shook her head. "Nope. I just wanted to get out. It has been some time since the last time." She smiled and took few steps forward, feeling the ground first with her cane. "Sasha-san lives near the graveyard. Do you know where it is?"  
  
"Ummm, I am not sure..." Yahiko tried to remember the last time he had been at Kyoto. He and Sanosuke had been lost and then they had seen Megumi and Kaoru and then Kenshin had came saying that he had been at graveyard. Now where was that?  
  
Misao laughed. "Don't worry. I know the way and I'll give you instructions on where to turn where. I know Kyoto quite well from before." Misao didn't even consider her words. She spoke freely cause now at last she was free.  
  
"So you have lived in Kyoto? When and where?" Yahiko on the other hand paid a lot of attention to her words. Mei hardly ever spoke of the past when it wasn't necessary so he absorbed every single thing she said to his memory.   
  
"Almost all of my life. I am an orphan. My parents died when I was very little and my grandfather who was my last relative died when I was five." Mei had a strange look on her face. She didn't smile anymore, but she didn't really look sad either.  
  
"I am an orphan too! My parents died when I was little too. I was older than you, but still young." Yahiko smiled. They had something in common and it felt good. He really liked Mei and wanted to get closer to her. He saw Mei smile at him as she started to walk to right. "Come, this way. I'll tell you where to turn and so on, but you have to help me a little. Counting and estimating the distances is very hard so you'll tell me and guide forward."  
  
Yahiko nodded. "Sure!" And walked to her side to listen to her.  
  
  
  
It took them half an hour to reach Sasha's house. On their way they also bought some flowers for her. Yahiko picked and Mei bought them. Sasha did indeed live near the graveyard and after only a little trouble they arrived. It was pure luck that Himiko's husband Ikku was at the door going inside and recognized Misao. He yelled and soon Himiko came out with her daughter Jun and son Haru following soon after. Himiko hugged her friend into a tight embrace and yelled how glad she was that Mei was there and how worried she had been. Misao only hugged her briefly back before pulling away. Jun and Haru were both tugging at her sleeve to get her attention and she gave them both a small smile.  
  
Yahiko watched this all from the side and immediately noticed the change in Mei. She was calmer and politer. Also she seemed more distant. Yahiko couldn't really understand what happened to her, but the change was great. She was like another person. This new Mei didn't seem to be in any hurry to introduce him. Or in a hurry to do anything. Smiles, bows and politeness. This was not Mei he had learned to know, but it was the one these people obviously knew.  
  
Who was Takahashi Mei? Was she the person he saw before him now or was she the person he had learned to know at the Aoiya? Or was she something else? For a moment he remembered Okina's warnings. They had been afraid of Mei. Had they been able too her true self or was he the only one to know it? Did anyone know? Did she herself know?  
  
Yahiko frowned. It was not an easy thing to find out. He couldn't really ask her, now could he.   
  
"Himiko-san, I would like you to meet a friend of mine. This is Myojin Yahiko. He is also a quest at the Aoiya. He has been kind enough to assist me since his arrival. It is all thanks to him that I got here today." Mei smiled at Yahiko kindly and Yahiko doubted that no one else could separate the message in her words. She told him to play along. But if these people were her friends then why did she practically lie to them?   
  
Yahiko smiled at Himiko not showing his inner confusion to her. He wasn't good at it, but Himiko was too exited to notice anything like that. "Thank you very much! Yahiko wasn't it? It is very hard for Mei to move around."  
  
"Himiko-san. It is not that hard once you learn it." Mei said to Himiko in a protest, but Himiko completely ignored Mei's words. "Come on inside. Yahiko-san, would you please guide Mei-san inside? Thank you so much!"   
  
Himiko sure moved fast. Yahiko clanged at Mei and saw her sigh and shrug her shoulders. Then she turned to Yahiko and gave him her arm saying that Himiko wouldn't be satisfied with any other way. Yahiko saw Himiko's husband smile to him apologizing.  
  
"Do you remember when I told you why I am here? Himiko-san dragged me here. This is nothing compared to it. But she is a kind woman with a good and strong heart. I really respect her." Mei smiled to Yahiko. Those few words and that smile changed his view of her once again. She didn't act so differently as he had thought before.  
  
So as Himiko-san wanted, he guided Mei inside.  
  
  
  
Yahiko hadn't really known what he had waited for this day, but it turned out to be very pleasant one. Juri, Sasha's and Arata's daughter, was adorable and it made Yahiko think if Kaoru had given birth to her child yet. At first they got to know each other and then they left for a picnic. It was Himiko's idea. She had been acting extra happily all the time and for her extra happiness meant also extra activity. She spoke and made everything with amazing speed. But even in her hyper active state Yahiko found her to be pleasant and fun company. He found himself liking every single one of them.  
  
Sasha and her husband Arata reminded him of his own parents. They loved each other very much and the atmosphere in their house was calm and loving. Juri was a lucky girl to be born into such a family.   
  
Himiko and Ikku were both a little bit more active than Sasha and Arata. Yahiko had a feeling that there were parents who could always spare sometime to play games with their children. Jun and Haru were always on the move like their mother, but they never did anything bad. Mostly they helped in where they could.  
  
Mei seemed to have relaxed a little now, but there was still something holding her back. He wondered what it was all the way to the river where they had their picnic. The place was at the outskirts of the town and very peaceful as well as beautiful. Yahiko smiled. This would be a great day. He had smelled and seen some of the food offered here and he couldn't wait till the got to the eating part.  
  
The sun was shining now brightly and warmly. They had more food with them than they could eat and more sake than they could drink. Yahiko drank a little too, but he had learned the dangers of alcohol and since he didn't want to get drunk, he carefully counted his cups. Jun and Haru were playing ball games and Yahiko joined them while the older ones started to discuss about love.   
  
Yahiko listened to them speak even though love was not his favourite subject.  
  
Sasha told how she and Arata had met at their friend's parties at Osaka. They had met and found out that they were actually neighbours and once they had returned to Kyoto, they had been in close contact which each other. "We were actually friends first, but at some point our feelings evolved into a love." Arata told laughing.  
  
Himiko told eagerly about a letter she had received. It hadn't been meant for her, but since it had no name on it and she had found it from the folds of a kimono she had bought, she had read it. She had fallen in love with the writer immediately. She had read that letter over and over until she had decided to find writer. Then she practically stole Ikku from altar when he was about to marry his old neighbour. "She was pissed, but there was nothing she could do. We loved each other too deeply. Later I heard that she had married some rich merchant." Himiko smiled whole-heartedly and looked at her husband lovingly.  
  
"Your turn, Mei-san." Himiko turned her attention to Mei who had stayed silent and hoped that they would forget her.  
  
"I-..."  
  
"Don't be shy! There must have been someone special in your life too." Himiko smiled and all eyes were suddenly on Mei.  
  
Yahiko threw the ball to Haru and turned to look at Mei, who looked very uncomfortable and fidgeted.   
  
Mei was silent and seemed to be biting her lower lip. "There was once, but I haven't seen him in years and won't ever see him again. That's it. He was something like a childhood friend." She gulped her sake cup empty with one wrist movement and poured it full again.  
  
Yahiko looked at Mei. How had she managed to squeeze so much sadness into few words? He felt his heart ache for her and he could see the same in the faces of the others.   
  
Suddenly Himiko stood up with a smile so brighten the atmosphere. "There is something I would like to tell to all of you. First of all I must say that Juri is adorable, she'll grow into a beauty. I am glad to be a aunt to such a child."  
  
Yahiko saw Sasha and Atara glow with parents pride at Himiko's words.  
  
"And to continue, I have just confirmed that I myself am pregnant." She smiled and looked at her husband glowing. He looked astonished at first but then he smiled and took her wife gently in his arms. Everyone were immediately there to congratulate Himiko and Ikku. Jun and Haru both hugged their parents and asked millions of questions when things were explained to them.  
  
"I also have something I would like to ask from Mei-san." Himiko smiled and walked to Mei. She took her hands. "Please, will you allow us to name our child after you if it is a girl?"  
  
Mei looked shocked and then she smiled a smile that was both sad and happy. "I would be honoured, my dear friend." She pulled Himiko close and Sasha clapped her hands and soon others joined in.   
  
They didn't leave until just before sunset. Jun and Haru were so tired that Atara and Ikku had to carry them home. They parted at Sasha's door. There Mei asked Himiko to wait a second and Yahiko not to listen to them. Yahiko was a little hurt by this but he stayed away. He still couldn't avoid hearing Himiko's loud protests over something. But in the end she gave in to Mei. They hugged for the last time and then Mei came to Yahiko. "Let's return to Aoiya."   
  
He noticed that even though Mei had drunk amazing amount of sake during the evening, she was still rather sober. She was also very silent for some reason. After few minutes of walking in silence, Yahiko had enough and he broke it. "Jun-chan and Haru-chan were so amazing. They acted to well all the time. They never did anything bad. I am sure that I weren't so good behaving when I was a child."  
  
Mei laughed. "I know I wasn't. I did all kind of stupid things and got into trouble all the time. For example I once painted a flower to-" She stopped for a moment. " -my caretaker's shirt when he was going to a meeting. I must have been such a problem since I never obeyed anyone but him. Every rule they made I always broke as soon as it was made."  
  
Yahiko laughed. When he had first got to know Mei, she had seemed so superior and unruffled like Aoshi. But once he had learned more about her, she had turned into an active person. Today she had been the same as when he had learned to know her first. Little by little she had changed though. He hadn't noticed it, but she had become more open and active. It was as if there were two different persons in her.  
  
"Umm, Mei-san. Can I ask you something?" He had to ask this, even though she wouldn't probably answer. Mei looked at him and nodded. Yahiko took a deep breath. "Why- I mean, when I first met you and today, you seemed distant, silent and calm. But in the morning when it was time to leave, you acted very differently from that. Why?"  
  
Mei stopped walking and so did Yahiko. She seemed to ponder about something in her mind, before she smiled. "When my eyes were cut, my self was cut also." She continued walking and Yahiko followed her.   
  
"The pain was more than I could bear. I never wanted to get hurt like that again. First I trained myself again, so that I would be able to defend myself and then I moved to a place where no one wants to hurt another. A peaceful village quite far from here. There I met Himiko-san and Ikku-san, but even though they were my friends, I couldn't open up for them. My spirit has been only barely alive for years. That is why acted like I did. I wanted to avoid pain. Such a coward." Mei laughed bitterly and then sighed.  
  
"I didn't want to return to Kyoto, but found no excuse to avoid it. So Himiko-san forced me to come. Here my intentions were to close myself in my room and never step out of it. But then you came. Speaking with you, training with you and ... having fun with you. Those things have brought my spirit slowly back to life. The person from this morning, the way I acted, that is closest to my former self." Mei gave a quick smile to Yahiko and continued walking in silence.  
  
Yahiko was silent also, he had a lot to think. They were already close to the Aoiya when Mei spoke again.  
  
"Yahiko, I am going to leave tomorrow. I won't return to my village, I'll leave for a journey. I want to find what I am missing. New courage, new happiness. I want to be the person I once was again. Before that I can never return to my family and friends. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but this time I'll most definitely return." There was confidence in her voice when she spoke. "So wait for me, alright? Yahiko." She said it smiling.   
  
He most certainly wait for her. She was a person whose friendship he never wanted to lose. "Of course! But I won't be here. I actually live in-"   
  
"Tokyo. At Kamiya dojo. I know." Mei smiled and Yahiko looked at her confused. He had said that he was from Tokyo, but not that he lived at Kamiya-dojo. "I haven't told you that. How-"  
  
"How did I know?" Mei interrupted. Yahiko nodded. "Yes, how did you?"   
Mei smiled. "I have been in Tokyo and at the dojo. We have met before."  
  
Yahiko frowned. "No, I would remember you."  
  
Mei smiled. "Think Yahiko-chan. Think about all that I have told you and find out the truth." They were already very close to Aoiya and soon Mei took her first steps up the stairs. In the silence Yahiko thought about Mei. He tried to remember every word she had said to him.   
  
She was a ninja, former member of Oniwabanshu. She used kenpo and some fan-like weapons. She had lost her eyes five years ago and because of it she had changed her name. She had hidden herself from her enemies and from her friends. She was from Kyoto. She was in love with a man she hadn't seen in a long time and she would never _see_ him again. That man was something like a childhood friend, which meant that she had known him as a child. The way she had acted in the morning was more like the person she had once been. Now, she would go for a journey and _this time_ she would return. This time. That meant she had been on a journey from which she had never returned. She had never returned to her friends. Until now.  
  
Mei was already at the door when she heard him gasp. She smiled. So he finally realized who she had been in the past. "So you understand now, don't you Yahiko. Please, don't tell others. I don't want them to know yet."   
  
She turned and smiled to Yahiko. "Thank you. Yahiko. You have no idea how much this time I have spent with you has changed me. We were so much alike in the past and I hope we'll be in the future also. But before I can return to the lives of the others, I have to regain myself. In the end, you'll be the only person who has ever really understood Takahashi Mei. Well, maybe Yoko-san and Keita-san both understand her also. But when I return, I'll be more like the person I was before. I won't allow Shimabara to win over me." Then she turned and walked inside.  
  
Too shocked to move for a minute, he then run after her. He reached her just as she was opening the door to her room.  
  
"Wait." Misao stopped and turned halfway to Yahiko. "I won't tell others. I promise you that."   
  
Misao bowed to Yahiko deeply. "Thank you. Sleep well, Yahiko." Then with a small smile she entered her room.  
  
Yahiko stood for a minute in the hallway and then whispered. "Good night, Misao." Then he walked to his room not knowing that those unheard words were the last ones he said to her in a long time. He did not know that was the last time he saw her for some time. Neither did he know that when he would wake up in the morning, she would be gone.  
  
End of chapter 10.  
TBC in chapter 11.  
  
At last. I actually thought that I would never finish this chapter but here it is. I feel like I would have been writing this for eternity.  
  
Tiian 


	11. Chapter 11: When light invades darkness

Disclaimer: I don't own RK.  
  
Author: It is almost over. It is Sunday and Misao will leave in this chapter. There will be an epilogue-chapter next cutting loose ends and summing everything up. After that, it is all over.  
  
...  
  
  
That's what I would like to say. Unfortunately I will continue this with another fic in the future, but I may rest a little while before it. (That is unless enough people beg for more soon and I get inspired.) In that fic there'll be more A&M romance.  
  
  
  
Chapter 11. When light invades darkness  
  
  
The sun was rising. The golden beams of light would soon turn darkness into light. Misao had been awake for long. She had been unable to sleep since everything that had happened here during her stay swirled in her head in one big mess. Especially the events that had taken place last night.  
  
Himiko really was pregnant and she would name her child after her. It really was an honour for her, unexpected one. It basically meant that during her journey she would go to Suzu to greet the new child. A child that would carry on the memory of Takahashi Mei with her name. A proof that she had once existed. In a strange way it was a relief to Misao.  
  
She also had to go to meet Yoko and Keita. They had done so much for her, she would never forget it. They probably had a child by now also, maybe even two. Misao really wanted to see them both.  
  
Being close to happy couples was never easy for her. It always reminded her of Aoshi she would probably never have. He had never showed anything even close to caring for her. Sure, she knew that he did indeed care for her. But not in the way she wanted him to. So, she would probably never marry, would never reach the happiness that Himiko, Sasha and probably Yoko also possessed. It was not a happy thought but she had learned to live with it.  
  
She also wondered something. Why had she told Yahiko who she was? Maybe because she wanted there to be someone who knew her from before, knew her now and would know her in the future. In a way this was also her way of thanking him for all that he had done for her. Even though he himself did not know just how much he had done.  
  
She knew that it had probably been a shock to him. He had spoken of Misao he knew to her many times. He truly missed her, just like everyone else probably also did. Misao hadn't known Yahiko for long, but they had been so like each other that building a friendship hadn't been hard.  
  
Or the reason why she had told him could have been all the sake she had drunk down her throat.  
  
Sake and the thoughts that run around in her kept her from falling asleep for long periods of time. So since she could not sleep well, she backed everything and cleaned the room. Her bag she placed in one of the corners. She would leave probably before others woke up. Himiko had promised to come and pay for her stay in the morning.   
  
She was almost ready to leave, but before she could do so there was one more thing she would have to do.  
  
Tenderly Misao drew her old uniform from her bag. No longer did leaving it here mean cutting ties, now it meant preserving them. Leaving her old self here with a promise that she would return. Of course they didn't know it. They probably never went to her room anyway so they wouldn't even know about it.  
  
She stood up and walked out of her room to her another room. The fact that others weren't awake yet which suited her fine. She didn't want anyone to see her entering her old room. She walked quietly along the corridor to her room hugging the uniform close to her. She most certainly did not want them to see it because it had no been washed. Her blood still covered its front. She was lucky, no one came.  
  
She opened the shoji carefully and as quietly as possible, then stepped inside. She closed the shoji as silently as she had opened it. Then she moved to her folded futon and kneeled. She sighed. She would leave her home again today. Last time she had left, Okina had thrown such a party. Her head had been aching from all sake she had drunk and she had been really tired. Now she was leaving again, but this time it would be a relief to others. She hugged the uniform close to her. It felt strange leaving it here, but it was her promise to return and so she laid it down.  
  
She was just about to stand up, when she felt alarmed. Something was not right. She stayed on her knees breathing heavily. Someone was approaching. *Not to worry. They never come to this room, right?* She thought through all of her options, finding nothing reassuring. Someone stopped behind the door.   
  
*Shit!* Misao leaped up and moved with amazing speed to one corner she hoped was dark. The one behind the door didn't move at all for a moment and then Misao heard the door open. And she recognized the ki. Aoshi. It was Aoshi. He had suppressed his ki and so made it hard to detect him. Misao's heart pounded in her chest. It was hopeless. He would see her and the uniform if he came in. There was no doubt about it.  
  
"Who are you?" His cold voice pierced the silence. Misao gulped and stepped from the shadows. "Mei? What are you doing here?" He sounded even colder than before. Misao didn't know what to do or say. She could feel his eyes on her skin and felt restless. If he noticed her uniform... She would have to keep his attention on her.  
  
"I made a mistake. I thought that this was my room. I am sorry." She walked to leave, fearing that her voice had revealed too much.  
  
His hand blocked the only exit. "Then why did you hide?" He asked calmly.  
  
Misao had predicted this question and so she knew what to answer. "An automatic reaction. I am sorry." She tried to push his hand away but it didn't move an inch.  
  
"You promised to have a conversation with me. How about here and now?" That shocked Misao. If they would stay here he would most definitely see the uniform. And she hadn't yet found out a way to explain that. Saying that she knew nothing of it would not work against him. At least not well. He would stay suspicious and would not allow her to leave as she had planned.   
  
She gulped. "I would prefer not. Let's go somewhere else. And besides Yahiko already knows everything you need to know and he'll tell you after I have left."  
  
Only silence answered her words. She felt him move and the hand that had blocked her exit was gone. She almost sighed in relief. Now they would leave and he would not return here. She was safe.  
  
Then she could hear him move deeper into the room. She had to stop him. "Shinomori-san, please. let's leave." To her great dislike her voice sounded scared even to her own ears. She was just about to repeat her words when he spoke. "What is that?"  
  
Her words never left her mouth, her heart almost stopped. "What?"  
  
  
Aoshi heard Mei speak. She was scared for some reason. She tried to hide it but from Aoshi it was nearly impossible mission. What was she afraid of? He knelt and looked more carefully at the object on the floor he had noticed from the door. His eyes widened slightly as he recognized it. It was Misao's uniform. But he knew that it hadn't been here before. Aoshi cleaned the room from dust almost weekly when others didn't notice and had never seen it. MEI! Of course! She had brought it here!  
  
He took it from the floor and in the light of the rising sun he looked at it more carefully, now noticing something he had not seen before.  
  
Blood.  
  
The front of the uniform was covered with dried blood. It was old blood, Aoshi could see that immediately. But what did it mean? Was it Misao's? Or someone else's? The only one who knew the answers to his question was the woman standing behind him.   
  
"Mei." He looked at her as he spoke and saw her wince. "Where did you get this?"  
  
"What? I don't know what you're talking about." She spoke with a shaking voice. She was scared. Really scared. Aoshi stood up and walked to her. She backed a step. "You know very well what I am talking about. Where did you get this uniform from? Speak." His spoke calmly but angrily. Aoshi hardly ever allowed any emotion to invade his voice, but now he did so. Anger combined with the natural calmness made his voice much more threatening. His last word was almost a yell. Aoshi didn't usually rose his voice but now he was scared for Misao. Was this her blood? Was she dead? Captured? This woman before him knew something about her and he would find out what. One way or another.  
  
The woman stayed quiet and took another step back. She was now standing in the corridor. Aoshi followed her with his eyes burning with cold fire. He extended his free hand and took a hold of her kimono's sleeve. "Speak." He hissed between his teeth.  
  
Mei just shook her head. "I can't. I don't know what you are talking about." She sounded powerless and her voice was a sigh. "Uniform? What uniform? I can't see, remember that. What ever it is that has made you upset, please tell me so that I know. But not here or I am afraid that we'll wake the others." She sounded different. The fear had left and confidence returned. The change was sudden and surprising.   
  
Mei turned and walked calmly to her room, but Aoshi noticed that she had her guard up all the time. She was ready to defend herself any minute would he attack her. Not being able to do anything besides following her, Aoshi walked forward to her room and closed the door behind him. They were alone now.  
  
Mei walked to a pillow near the window and showed at another one with her hand. Indicating that Aoshi should sit down. He did as he was expected to and sat. He looked at the uniform again and then at the woman before him. Her black hair was tied back and an eye cover run over her face. He had never seen her without it. What did she hide behind it?  
  
After they had sat still for a moment, both checking each other out, Mei spoke. "You wanted to talk?" She really sounded different from before. She had been frightened, but now it was as if it had never happened.  
  
Aoshi nodded. He had many questions, but also a feeling that she would not answer to all of them. "I have some questions I would like to ask." Politeness was often the key.  
  
"Shoot me. Not literally of course." Mei smiled a little.  
  
Last time they had had a conversation like this, he had asked normal question. He had not wanted to show that he was suspicious of her. Now was another matter. She would leave soon and he had no time. He would have to go straight to the business. But first he would find out about the uniform.   
  
"Do you know whose room is the one you were in?"  
  
"I think I heard the name of the owner on my first day here. Something like Misao if I remember correctly." She seemed to think a moment before answering.  
  
"You do. I clean that room weekly." That seemed to surprise Mei. At least she raised her eyebrow. "And when I went there last time this uniform was not there. Care to explain that."  
  
She shook her head. "I can't since I don't know anything about it."  
  
"Then why were you scared when I asked you about it?"  
  
"Your ki was flaring. It was so strong and surprising that it scared me." Her voice was steady and sure. Nothing indicated towards her lying. She didn't seem nervous.  
  
Aoshi was silent. Everything matched the way she had acted, but somehow he couldn't make himself believe her. Something in him protested and said that she knew more, but Aoshi knew that this was all she would say. At least now. So he changed the subject. "You are a ninja."  
  
Mei shook her head. "No, I was a ninja years ago. But then again, you can't really stop being a ninja, now can you. I don't belong to any group anymore."  
  
"Why not?" Aoshi asked his face unchanging. She could be lying.  
  
Mei pursed her lips. "Personal question, but I'll answer to you what I can. Yahiko can tell you more after I have left." She sighed. "Something happened years ago. I got terribly wounded and decided to leave my clan and the life of a ninja. I keep myself in shape, but I don't live like a ninja anymore. I am a waitress actually."  
  
"Where do you work?" It was an innocent question if you didn't connect it like Mei did.  
  
"Don't you mean where do I live?" She didn't smile, but her voice mocked him. "In a little village quite far from here. The name? That I won't tell you."  
  
Mei sighed as if she were tired even though life was pulsing like blood in her. "Listen, why don't you just quit this? I am not an yaminobu nor am I their spy."  
  
Aoshi frowned. He had not expected this turn around. "Who told you that?  
  
Mei shrugged. "Yahiko did. Don't be angry. Unlike you, he trusts me. Listen." Mei stood up and walked to the window. "I am not on your side nor I am on theirs. Would I be forced to pick a side, it would be yours since I hate Shimabara for reasons you can ask from Yahiko about after I have left."  
  
Aoshi stood up also and walked to her. "Why not now?"   
  
His question seemed to make Mei uncomfortable. "Because an endless amount of question will rise from it. But it'll prove that I am more on your side than on that monsters." Mei noticed that Aoshi was coming closer and stopped right behind her. She tried to ignore him standing so close to her and the feelings it aroused in her.  
  
Aoshi knew that he would not get much out of her this way. He had to surprise her somehow and shaken her so that she would become careless. After their first conversation he had thought about it a lot and had finally found an answer. He didn't like it, but if she was a spy, she had been told about him. That meant that what he was going to do, would shock her since even the thought of doing so shocked him as well.  
  
Mei was standing at the window. Without the blindfold one could have thought that she was looking at the town or at the sunrise. She sighed and turned to him. "Shinomori-san, I--" Was as far as she got.  
  
Aoshi was already very close to her and with a lightning speed he took a hold of her wounding another hand around her waist and another to her hair and to the folds of her cover. Surprised and confused Mei didn't react fast enough. He pulled her up and pressed his lips against hers. Her lips were warm and soft and to his astonishment she took a hold of him and kissed him back. Even though Aoshi was doing this to get information, he couldn't help enjoying it or getting aroused of it. She felt wonderful against him. Her lips, her body, her warmth...  
  
Then she seemed to understand what she was doing and pushed him away from her with a surprised gasp.  
  
"Aoshi-sama!"   
  
That one word, one name, stopped every movement in the room. Aoshi was staring at Mei in pure disbelief.  
  
This voice! Aoshi knew this voice. Free from all boundaries this was Mei's true voice. As well as it was Misao's. He backed from the woman his eyes wide. This woman...  
  
Misao had always addressed him with -sama. He could still remember most of those times. When he returned from Shishio's fortress she had came to him screaming his name. After that she had spoken to him countless times, trying to make him smile. She had said his name with a smile and with tears. Happiness and sadness, hate and love, there was no emotion that hadn't been at least once attached to his name. Now it was full of surprise, disbelief and confusion.  
  
"You..." Aoshi could hear his own surprise. Shinomori Aoshi was a very intelligent person. He had sharp eyes and fast mind. He knew this and was respected because of it. How could he have been so blind?  
  
"...Misao?" He spoke disbelieving even though he knew now that Mei was Misao. Suddenly everything made sense. Even though he hadn't consciously recognized her, a part of him had. His need to protect her had risen from that part of him.  
  
"Misao? The girl who lived in the next room. What about her?" Her voice wavered as she hastily spoke already knowing it was useless but still trying to cover up her mistake.  
  
"I should have... recognized you the moment I saw you." In a way he had. The part of him that had always cared for her, always protected her, had seen through her mask. His heart had known who she was even though his mind had not. Misao. And just now, he had kissed her.  
  
Misao opened her mouth to protest again, but closed it without saying anything. He knew. She could practically feel his eyes on her skin.  
  
"You're alive." He finally said breaking the silence.  
  
"Humph, barely. You almost gave me a heart attack." Misao used her real voice now since hiding was no longer necessary.  
  
"Why?" Aoshi sounded uncaring, cold to her ears. Nothing really had changed. What had she expected? That he would actually show some happiness? No ¨welcome back¨, just questions she didn't want to answer to. Misao was pissed.  
  
"Why what? Why Takahashi Mei and not Makimachi Misao? Why the eye cover? Why, why and why? What? How? Endless stream of questions I don't want to answer to." She was furious and allowed it to influence her ki and to fill her whole being. It felt good to be angry, even if the object (and partial cause) was as unruffled as Aoshi.  
  
"I have nothing to tell to you that Yahiko doesn't know. I'll leave now. I will say good bye to Yahiko and then I am gone. If you have questions, ask him. He knows Takahashi Mei better than anyone of you." She turned to leave, but suddenly stopped. This was the one man she had loved all of her life and whom she still loved with all she had. He deserved more than just few angry words. She didn't want to part with him like this. Misao sighed.  
  
Still her back turned to him, she continued to speak. "I am sorry. I was rude, but all of this shocked me quite badly. As I said to you, Yahiko knows the current me and after I am gone, he'll tell you what I have gone trough. He will tell you about Takahashi Mei, not about Misao. I didn't want any of you to realize who I was. But for some reason I told to Yahiko last night and now you found out on your own. Both of you know now who I am. Please, don't tell to others. Yahiko has already promised that to me."  
  
"I had no intentions of returning here before Himiko-san practically dragged me here. Now I am happy that I came. But I will leave again. That uniform I'll leave here is a promise. My promise to return here. I don't know when, but when I will, I won't leave again. Yes, the blood on the uniform is mine and I would prefer that you didn't wash it away until I have returned. Any questions you have, ask them from Yahiko. See you later, my dear Aoshi-sama. Please don't follow me. You can not stop me from leaving."   
And with those words she left the room taking her bag and her cane with her. Aoshi allowed her to leave.   
  
She walked straight to Yahiko's room. She would not leave before saying goodbye to him. She left her stuff near the door and following the sound him breathing she found him. She knelt beside him and nudged him with her arm carefully.  
  
"Yahiko." She spoke with her normal voice, but got no return. "Yahiko." She said a little bit louder. "Mmmm." Was his answer. Misao sighed and smiled. "Yahiko. Thank you for all that you have done. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'll leave now, but when I'll return, I will be back for good. I won't leave again. See you then, Yahiko."  
  
Misao stood up. She wasn't sure if he had heard her or not but it was time for her to leave. She left Yahiko's room and closed the door quietly. Throwing her bag over her shoulder she walked down the stairs and straight to the main door. The cold air of the morning hit her skin but it was a welcome feeling. Her new journey would begin here. But now she knew that she would come back no matter what happened.  
  
She walked down the stairs and the along the street out of the town. Aoshi watched her as she moved slowly away from the Aoiya from the window. But in his hand he held her promise of return and he knew that Misao would keep her promise. Once Misao had gotten so far that he could no longer see her, he walked to her real room and placed the uniform to the exact same place as she had less than half an hour ago.  
  
She would return and he would be here waiting for her. He had waited for her to return for six years so that he could propose to her. He could wait a little longer. Shinomori Aoshi was a patient man.  
  
  
End of chapter 11.  
TBC in epilogue.  
  
Whew. I did it (sorry that this was rather short). Only one chapter anymore.  
Please tell me what you think.  
  
Tiian 


	12. Epilogue: She will come back

Author:  
When I started this fic, I never thought it would end up being like this. I never thought I would write it so fast or that it would become this long. I haven't planned this fic and so writing it has been fascinating. It has been a pleasure to write this. (But I have to say that I hated writing chapter 10.)  
  
Sorry for the delay! I am sooo sorry! I just suddenly had more stuff to do than I can and no time to write. (I still ain't really happy with this one...)  
  
Thank you to all those who have had time and patience to review practically every chapter  
Susan  
blue eyes  
Dynast   
le bleu phenix   
erin   
Kmye-chan  
Mariana-chan. (Hopefully I didn't forget anyone...)  
Also thanks to all others who have reviewed, but not mentioned here.   
  
I want to thank all of you that have supported me with your words. I don't know if I ever would have continued this if not for you. Every time I have felt like leaving this fic untouched for months, I have read reviews and then found inspiration from them.   
So, thank you so much.  
  
This chapter isn't that long cause this just sums things up and cuts loose ends.  
  
  
Chapter 12.  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own RK.  
  
A World without an Image  
  
Epilogue: She will come back  
  
  
Yahiko woke up yawning. He had a strange feeling of something missing. He had slept for hours, the sun was already high up on the sky. He was tempted to stay there laying, but forced himself to get up. He wanted to talk to Mei, or rather to Misao.  
  
He had been so surprised when he had understood what she had meant. Mei was so different from Misao. She was mature and calm. Misao was childish and wild. They were like complete opposites. But considering what Misao had gone trough, maybe such change was possible. She had said that she had wanted to avoid pain at all costs and that her spirit had been almost dead.   
  
What would she be like after this new journey she would do? Would there be any signs of Mei anymore?   
  
Yahiko stood up and changed his clothes. He hurried to Misao's room and rushed in. She wasn't there. There were no signs that she had ever been there. Her bag and her cane were gone and the room was clean as if it hadn't ever been used. Had she left already?   
  
"Looking for Mei?"  
  
Yahiko turned around surprised. Aoshi was standing at the door in his western suit Yahiko had never seen before. He nodded, alarmed. *What has he done with Mei? Misao.*   
  
"She left hours ago. Her friend, Himiko-san came just ten minutes ago and paid her bill." He talked calmly and uncaring. Yahiko frowned. These people had suspected Mei all the time for being a spy. Had they just allowed her to leave?  
  
"Mei told me that you have something to tell us." Aoshi looked at Yahiko and he felt uncomfortable under his studying gaze. He nodded, not trusting his voice.   
  
"Come to the garden. Others are waiting." Then he left. Yahiko followed him after checking that Mei was really gone. There were no signs that she had ever been there. He walked down the stairs and to the garden. Okina, Okon, Omasu, Shiro, Kuro and Aoshi were all there.  
  
He heard Okina yell to Aoshi something, but the only word he heard clearly was Mei. So Aoshi had been the one to allow her to leave, others probably disagreed. Okon and Kuro were talking, Omasu and Shiro were silent.   
  
When Aoshi turned to him, others noticed him too. He walked nervously forward. He was the only one that could defend Mei, Misao, and he couldn't tell them who she really was, which would automaticly free her from their suspicions.  
  
"Yahiko. Good morning. Aoshi told us that you have something to tell us about Mei." It was Okina. He sounded cheery but his eyes were deadly serious.   
  
Now all of them were looking at him, waiting for him to speak. He collected his thoughts and straightened himself. Mei/Misao was his friend. He would defend her without telling them. He would keep his promise without failure.  
  
"Yes, I have something to tell you. Mei trusted this to me and asked me to tell you this so that you wouldn't be suspicious of her anymore. You told me that the war had been declared, I tell you that it started already five years ago. Then Mei was still a member of Oniwabanshu. She was one of you and the first victim."  
  
"She has lied. There has never been member like her among us." Okina almost laughed, they had caught her. She had lied and she was a spy. This was a proof.  
  
"Listen to Yahiko." Aoshi said coldly startling them all. From the look on his eyes, Yahiko could tell that he knew more than others did.  
  
Yahiko continued. "She did not lie. Takahashi Mei is not her real name. She changed it to hide from her enemies." Yahiko was angry. Okina just insulted Misao. Of course he didn't know the truth, but it still felt... wrong.  
  
"What happened to her all those years ago was too painful for her bear. She was attacked and captured with poison and taken to the enemy. To Shimabara. He had her tied up while he, he, he---" Yahiko tightened his hands into fists and could feel his nails digging into his palm. Misao. All of this had happened to Misao. That bastard Shimabara!   
  
"You have seen that eye cover she has, right? She wears it to hide her eyes. Five years ago Shimabara destroyed her eyes. I have seen the scars. They cover almost half of the face. There is nothing, NOTHING, left of her eyes. For that Mei hates Shimabara. She would never side herself with him. NEVER!" Yahiko hissed from between his teeth.   
  
Then he pointed his hand at them. "She wanted me to tell you this to help you. To help you! She knows what he looks like and she wants to help you if she can. But she doesn't want to involve herself into this matter. She never wants to be in the same room with that man again!"  
  
Yahiko breathed heavily and then he looked at Aoshi. His eyes widened.  
  
That look. The last time that Yahiko had seen that look on Aoshi's face before when he had been after Kenshin. He was scary. He seemed to emit pure anger and hatred. His hands were tight fists. The others noticed this also and backed away from him.  
  
He spoke and his voice sent chills down everyone's backs. "Okina. Find Shimabara. Now." Then he turned to Yahiko. "You, come." He strode forward. Yahiko pitied everyone who got in his way and followed. Disagreeing was out of question.  
  
Aoshi walked inside of the Aoiya and straight to his own room. There he took his kodachi's from the wall. "She told me that you know." He turned to look at Yahiko with burning eyes.  
  
"Know what?" Yahiko was scared, seriously, but he didn't show it. In some ways this anger was even scarier than the one he had held against Kenshin.  
  
"That Mei is Misao."  
  
Yahiko almost gasped. Aoshi knew? That explained his anger. So he really cared for her. When Yahiko looked at Aoshi again, his face was cold and uncaring. But his current coldness was scarier than anything. He would do anything to get his hands on Shimabara for what he had done.  
  
Aoshi had almost asked Misao to take the cover of, but then decided against it. He had thought that it was only to mask her from them so that she could go unnoticed. What Yahiko had told him changed all. This man, this Shimabara dared to touch, dared to harm Misao? That was unforgivable. There was no way that he would ever forgive this crime he had committed.  
  
Misao. There was no other person he had ever loved as much as he loved her. No one mattered as much as she did to him. She was all he wanted. And she had been hurt. Badly.  
  
"Shimabara will pay." His eyes burned. No one harmed his Misao and lived.  
  
  
  
A week later  
  
  
  
Okina found Shimabara's location easily. He changed it all the time, but now he wouldn't have time. The minute they found out, they moved out. Everything had already been prepared. Yahiko had insisted on coming with them. For Mei. Aoshi had agreed on it ingnoring the protests the other voiced.   
  
Mostly Shimabara had lived far from Kyoto, but now he was very close. Every member that they could gather together in time were there and Aoshi led them. For the first time Yahiko saw the okashira. He was brilliant and resourceful. Yaminobus were surprised by this sudden attack and there weren't nearly enough members to counter to the amount that Aoshi threw at them. Yahiko had his own share of battles and found that he was better. The time he had spent training with Misao really paid off.   
  
Aoshi in the matter of fact put him against the second best man they had and especially then the training with Misao was proven useful. Ninjas fought differently and Yahiko hadn't been used to fighting an enemy such as that. Now he was and he won. He was injured, but not so badly that he wouldn't be able to watch Aoshi fight Shimabara.  
  
He noticed immediately that Aoshi was in a different level, way above Shimabara. He charged and all Shimabara could do was defend. Yahiko had witnessed Aoshi's strength already long ago, but now he saw it again. The first time when Yahiko had seen Aoshi fight had been at Kanryuu's mansion, the second on Enishi's beach, but then he had had an enemy of his own to consentrate on.  
  
Aoshi didn't even have to use his ougi. Shimabara was scared of this raging monster before him and Aoshi soon found an opening. His kodachi slid easily into Shimabara's body like a knife to butter. Aoshi calmly twisted it in his body and Shimabara fell to his knees. When he pleaded for his life, Yahiko could almost swear Aoshi saying to him something about Misao. The widening of Shimabara's eyes supported his hearing. Aoshi pulled his kodachi free and left Shimabara there for death to collect.   
  
Yahiko walked to him and looked at his face. He had almost kicked the dying man, but decided against it. He now understood what Misao had once said. She had said that she had no will to take revenge since it would change nothing. This pathetic man before him was not worthy of it. So he knelt beside his body. He was still conscious.   
"Shimabara. Five years ago you took away Misao's eyes. I want you to die knowing that she is fine. She is strong and lives strongly. She doesn't even think that you are worthy of her attention. In the end, she won." Shimabara whimpered.  
  
Yahiko rose up and walked away.   
  
No member of Yaminobu rose to avenge Shimabara, instead they all abandoned him. They felt no real loyalty towards him and apologized for themselves. Peace was easily achieved. Neither side had never really wanted to fight. The casualties were few on both sides.  
  
So in the end Shimabara died alone and cops that came there to investigate the matter, burned his body.   
  
The nightmare was over.  
  
  
  
Misao walked through a forest. She was finally on the right road. She listened to the sounds of the forest, enjoying it immensely. She was free from all boundaries, expect for her promise to return. She had all the time she needed to repair the damage that Shimabara had inflicted in her. Her face melted into a smile. She inhaled her lungs full of fresh air and then released it calmly. If she had been able to, she would have cried. But now they would have been tears of joy.  
  
There were times that she felt stronger and times when she had been weaker. She had given her life up. Living hadn't really meant so much for her when she was unhappy. Now she enjoyed life again, she was happy to be alive. To feel and to care.  
  
She would return. She had friends waiting for her.  
  
  
~ O*W*A*R*I ~  
  
  
Author's final words:  
  
And it is over. Those of you who want to read more, you have to wait for A World of Images, which will continue from here. I don't know when I'll start/continue to write it, but I don't think it will take long.  
  
I am happy that I have finally finished this also because maybe now I can write others as well.   
  
Thank you to you all for your time.  
  
Yours,  
Tiian  
  
  
I may revise this chapter a little later, but I doubt that there will be any major changes. I am not so happy with this expecially the Shimabara part. This fic was of Misao and her hard journey to move forward, but I would like to make a better ending to Shimabara since he was the bad guy. So when I have time, I'll see if I can make the ending better. 


End file.
